Friday, November 23, 2007

A Moment of Zen: Black Friday Style

Since it's the day after Thanksgiving, let's celebrate consumerism, shall we?

Ohmigawd! Shoes!

Friday, November 16, 2007

New Dino Discovery, More or Less

Apparently, a dinosaur has been discovered with a vacuum-cleaner type mouth. Interesting find, but scientists have yet to study its lesser-known cousin:

It's like looking in a mirror, ain't it?

--Weasel, definitely going to hell for this post... as if she wasn't before.

A Moment of Zen: "It Sucks to Be You" Edition

This is pretty much sums up how I feel every October.

"Oh shit."

Thursday, November 15, 2007

It's a Date

According Comics Continuum, Cartoon Network has announced the date and time for the premier of the Transformers Animated "movie": December 26, 8PM EST/PST.

I hope I'm not working too late that night. I need my Bumblebee fix.

--Weasel, "The best things come after Xmas!"

From the "You Gotta be Shitting Me" Files

Australian Santas have been told not to "Ho, Ho ,Ho" because it offends women. (I smell bullshit, btw.)


Hey, I just live on the planet, I don't understand it.

If You're Not Outraged...'re not paying attention.

Found this little gem via Shakesville; it really needs to be read to be believed. I wanted to blog about it yesterday, but I was simply too pissed to think straight after reading it.

Once you read this article, you'll be pretty pissed off too.

She told the Meiers that Josh Evans was created by adults, a family on their block. These adults, she told the Meiers, were the parents of Megan's former girlfriend, the one with whom she had a falling out. These were the people who'd asked the Meiers to store their foosball table.

The single mother, for this story, requested that her name not be used. She said her daughter, who had carpooled with the family that was involved in creating the phony MySpace account, had the password to the Josh Evans account and had sent one message - the one Megan received (and later retrieved off the hard drive) the night before she took her life.

"She had been encouraged to join in the joke," the single mother said.

This "family's" name has not been released. A child is dead because of their actions and the press decides not to release these fuckholes' names.

I have only four words for this: Release the family's names.

Seriously, let these sorry pieces of fuck deal with the shit they created. Let their lives become a waking nightmare, one which they cannot escape.

It won't be much in the way of justice, but it will be a start.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Urge to Scream... RISING!

You know you're screwed when you get to work and see a repairman trying to fix the same exact machines that you're going to be working with. Which is exactly what happened to me yesterday.

NCR was in our store. They were cleaning and repairing the GM self-checks. They were there most of the day. I couldn't tell you whether or not this was a good thing.

I was tripping over the repairmen damn near all day, every jackass who had an IQ lower than 40 were using the self-checks, the touchscreen at the pay station went down, and I was stuck there for the entire day.

Yes, it was hell. I swear to God, I exist only as the Universe's whipping girl.

Read It and Weep, Bitchez!

My geek pride doth swell.

According to the market research, Autobot Bumblebee, who spent much of the film as a Chevy Camaro, was the film's favorite character, beating out real-life stars Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox and even Autobot leader Optimus Prime. Ninety-four% of moviegoers surveyed rated their opinion of Bumblebee as excellent or very good, compared with 91% for Optimus Prime, 83% for LeBeouf, 82% for Fox and 69% for Jazz, Ratchet and Ironhide -- played by a Pontiac Solstice, a Hummer H2 and a GMC Topkick, respectively, that transform into Autobots.

(Emphasis mine)

That's right, Bumblebee rules you. You just don't know it yet.

--Weasel, "About damn time he got props."

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Put Down the Autobot, Asshole!

The guy on self check-out was acting very oddly.

As I stood at the pay station, keeping a watch on the self-check lanes he kept throwing glances in my direction, like he was hiding something. He had already scanned his first item, a pack of gum, and was getting ready to scan his second and final item: an Ultimate Bumblebee.

He repeatedly swiped the bar code over the scanning bed, still looking nervously at me. Suspicious, I kept my eyes on the pay station's screen. Imagine my surprise when I saw the "price" he was going to pay for that toy.- $5.92.

He had scanned it in as a journal.

"Oh hell no!" I thought, plastering on the biggest fake grin I possibly could. I hurriedly walked towards self check-out number 43, trying to keep my cool. In a pleasant voice, I said, "You know, that price doesn't seem right. The check-outs have been acting up off and on all day. Let me check that for you." I seized Bumblebee and trotted back to the pay station. Mr. Sticky-fingers followed. As quickly as I could, I tapped "Item Inquiry" button on the pay station's register and scanned Bumblebee's bar code. The real price popped up on the screen- $79.88.

"Oh, it's that much?" Mr. Sticky-fingers spluttered. "If it's that expensive, I don't want it."

"Sure," I said, smiling pleasantly. "I can put him back for you." Jerk, I thought, wanting nothing more than to slap the wanna-be thief. As I placed the now rescued Ultimate Bumblebee by the register at the pay station, Mr. Sticky-fingers paid for his gum and left. He couldn't walk out of the store fast enough.

Bumblebee stayed under my watchful eyes for the rest of the night. I kept that box as close to me as possible and whenever I left the pay station, I kept my eyes on him. No one was going to walk off with that toy without a fight. I would make damn sure of it. When it was time for me to go home, I gently cradled the rescued Autobot and carefully walked him up the Service Desk. After tucking him into the Toy returns cart, I told one of the head cashiers what happened. "Nice save!" she said, grinning.

"What's going on?" asked one of the other cashiers, who happens to be a friend of mine. I told her. "Go, you!" she exclaimed as she gave me a high five. "I knew if someone tried to steal a Bumblebee, you'd stop them!"

I walked out of work with a huge smile on my face. It was a good night.

Moral of the story: Never fuck with this female's favorite Autobot, or you will go down. She'll make damn sure of it.

Unsure where I got the pic above. If I can find the original link, I'll give credit.

And In Other News, Ice is Cold...

Must've been a slow news day.

Researchers who looked at the bestselling songs in several genres from 2005 found that 37 percent of top country songs featured references to drugs or alcohol, compared to just 14 percent of rock songs.

"It's not like country music is as wholesome as mom and apple pie," said Ralph DiClemente, a professor of public health at Emory University who's familiar with the study findings.

I guess they never heard that little joke: What do you get when you play a country music record backwards?
Answer: You get your wife back, you get your job back, you get your truck back and you stop drankin'!

Coming up, other studies will show that liquid water is still wet, the sky is still blue during daylight hours and if you eat a big meal, you will have to take a massive shit several hours later. More as this develops.

--Weasel, "Seriously, it took 'em this long to figure this shit out. Unbelievable."

A Moment of Zen: Wake Up, Dammit! Edition

Only cat people will find this funny.

Translation: "Get up and feed me, you lazy bastard!"

Sunday, November 04, 2007

A Moment of Zen: Bad Kitteh Edition

No no kitty! That's a bad kitty! /Cartman

Is it just me, or is that cheetah smiling?
It's probably just me.

Linkage from here.