Saturday, August 19, 2006

Asshats of the Week

"Out of the Frying Pan" Edition

Troy Gentry is facing jail time for shooting a caged, tamed bear by the name of Cubby. Yes, a tamed, caged bear. Swift one there, Troy. Your actions earn you an all expenses paid trip to Alaska for a bear hunt. There are a few rules for this, you know: no weapons, no gear, no chance in Hell. We'll see how much of a "real" man you are when Cubby's extended family has a fighting chance. Have fun at the Bear Family Reunion.

Good one, Andrew. Instead of helping Wal-Mart, you've given them another dose of public humiliation. You know, you really shouldn't have quit your day job. Wal-Mart could still use your "help". (Maybe a few more bonebrained comments would finally convince the public at large that it is a very bad thing to shop at the Grinning Monster.) Your comments have earned you a mint-scented enema, so your ass will be minty fresh the next time you wanna speak out of it.

I can't find the words to describe this. Under 21, with a DUI. And caught with pot to boot. At least you didn't kill anyone. You've earned a trip to rehab, where you'll see lots of stoned people. And you can't make them go away.

These two retards caused a car crash which ended in a driver being injured and his passenger suffering brain damage. What do they get? A couple of slaps on the wrist and a "Now don't you good boys do that again." The judge earns brain surgery (to remove his head from his ass) and the two boys earn a training program a la 1993's classic movie, The Program. Hope you dildos like playing chicken with fast moving cars.

This moron waits until his host is out of the room, removes dinner from the hot pan, and dunks in the hosts kittens. I would say this guy was acting stupid, but it blatantly apparent that this is anything but an act. Idiot boy has earned his dumb ass a cheap, no frills neutering: one lit stick of dynamite and the order to count to ten. (Hey, it's more than obvious that this dipshit couldn't count to ten without the aid of both hands. >:)

That's about all the asshattery I can take for one week. So until next time remember, if you don't want the "honor" of being on this list, don't be an asshat.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

CBS = Complete Bull Shit

Film at 11.

An exorcism pilot. Inspired by the life of that fucking Liar Bob Larson. Great CBS. Just go ahead and merge with Fox. You're obviously full of the exact same shit as News Corp.

I appreciate my books and my Game Boy Advance SP much more these days. They're not so full of steaming piles of bovine excrement.

--Weasel, now understanding the need for "TV Turn-Off Week".

Friday, August 11, 2006

Dying of Cute Here!

Check out the latest Diamond and Pearl video, which has footage of the starters. Man, this only makes me want the game even more!

I was seriously thinking I would take the Penguin. I even had a nickname picked out for the little guy: Break. The Turtle (or whatever it is) didn't impress me at all (since it's kinda on the fugly side) and I don't do Monkeys. Monkeys are only good for a lowbrow joke that usually involves flinging poop and that's it. Or so I thought.

Not this time.

Damn you, Nintendo. Damn you, Game Freak. You made that Monkey sound so adorable and so cute that I want the blasted thing as my starter! And to top it all off, it's a Fire type. (Sigh...) I'm screwed.

Anyone know a decent name for a Monkey?

--Weasel, "And no, I'm not calling it Optimus Minor!"

The Terror Plot

Let's be honest here; one plot has been foiled. Great. But how many others are in the making? We've "won" this round, but the "war" is far from over.

There were two different attacks on the WTC; one involved a truck bomb, the other involved airliners. If you honestly think that stopping one plot has made us any safer, you're mistaken. The terrorists are just going to keep trying until they succeed.

--Weasel, not flying anytime soon.

How to Spot a Terrorist

If he's sipping Pepsi before boarding an airline flight, he's a terrorist.

This public service announcement brought to you by:

--Weasel, keeping our skies safe.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Summertime Blues

This has not been a good summer.

For the third time in as many months, I'm fighting off another cold. Three weeks ago, I was trying to fight off dehydration and exhaustion (both heat related; I still end up with a few dizzy spells from it all). Prime and I had a pretty bad exchange over the phone last Friday which led to me having a 20 minute crying jag at work. But the absolute worst? On Sunday, July 23, my mother called me and told me one of my aunts had died of cancer. I spent quite a few weekends at her place with her younger daughter while I was a tweenager.

All I want to do right now is scream.

I'm fighting off flashbacks from this past December, the heat (which broke recently, thank Primus!) has gotten both Prime and myself so frazzled that we had been snapping at each other (we don't have central a/c), our finances hit rock bottom last month and my wonderful job has been giving me shit schedules for the past few weeks.... if they even remember to stick me on the schedule, that is.

I want to scream, cry, throw a fit like a two year old until I'm so emotionally emptied out that I can't even stand, let alone walk.

I can't do that, though.

If I start, I may not stop for a very long time.

I hope August is better.

--Weasel, who wants to skip straight to September and BotCon...