Friday, August 28, 2009

Friday Photoblog: Random Facts Edition

Random Fact: Chuck Norris does not have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, he has an entire universe.
(It needed to be said...)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

This Week in "Epic Fail"...

For the past couple of weeks, we've had a woman (sometimes with a large group of her friends) who would come into our store several times throughout the day. She would cart up a crapload of items, try to check them out, then void all but three (or fewer) items because she never had enough money for everything. She would then come back much later that night (usually at around 9 or 10) with $150 to $200 worth of items to return. Now remember, this is the exact same woman who didn't have enough money to cover her purchases earlier. So where the hell was this slag coming from?!

As if that wasn't enough, she claimed that she had been employed in a retail store, had been fired and was currently trying to sue them. She also claimed she was looking into suing our store for discrimination.

Yeah, a real piece of work, this one.
But thankfully, her little games are now over.

This Saturday, she came into the store again. (This had to be the fourth time that she had come in that day, but I digress.) Again, she's pulling the exact same BS--trying to buy a heap of slag, then voiding off most of it. She then leaves and returns.... with an enormous pile of returns and no receipt. She swears she'll be back with her receipt and leaves again. It goes without saying that management was alerted. Immediately.

When Ms. StickyFingers came back with her receipt, it got interesting fast.

Management refused the returns. Ms. StickyFingers tried to leave and was promptly met at the door by the police. One of our loss prevention guys was on her tail, too. She had nowhere to run.

Ms. StickyFingers has officially been banned from our store. I have no idea if she was treated to a nice cozy pair of silver bracelets, nor do I know if management is pressing charges. But from what I hear, they have a shitload of documentation on her, so if they wanted to do so, there's no reason they couldn't. In any case, that's one problem out of our hair.

Fast forward to Sunday.
One of Ms. StickyFingers' friends came in, with a few bags. She claimed that they were from a local competitor. The people greeter who spotted her made her tie the bags shut and we let management know that we had another potential problem in our store.

The friend was tailed, but nothing came of it. She didn't really do anything illegal. But I have to wonder; if you know your ringleader was busted, why in the hell are you going to go into the same damn store that busted her?! That makes no damn sense to me, I swear.

--Weasel, "The good guys won.... for once. Next time may be very different."

Saturday, August 22, 2009

And the Universe Smacks Me Over the Head.... Again

The last couple of days at work have been hell. I wish I was kidding about that fact, but it is unfortunately very true.

On Thursday most of my breaks were late. Not by a few minutes, either. This was anywhere from 30 to 50 minutes late. Frustrating? You better believe it. Friday wasn't much better. In fact, I'd say it was a slagload worse.

It's Friday. I'm on lane 17. I get a customer who brings up a Packers sweatshirt. It's one I've never seen before and it rings up at $27. The customer says it was on a clearance rack and points to a price sticker (a slightly wrinkled sticker, I might add) that reads $5. The tag itself says $23. She wants this thing for the $5 price.

Yes, that's a $22 difference. So, no, I'm not overriding that without an approval. (If I did, a head cashier, department manager or some other member of management would be up my ass like you wouldn't believe. And I don't know about anyone else, but I like being able to have a paycheck to pay my damned bills.) So I call Men's wear. They start looking for something similar. They can't find one. So I walk to Men's wear and show them the stupid thing. They scan it with their Telxon and it comes up $27. So the associates in Men's wear state that we can only sell the damned thing for the price it scans. So I get back to my lane and tell her this; she leaves.

Here's where it gets insanely stupid.
Thieving customer comes back.... with management. Management takes sweatshirt and sells it to thief for $5.

Yeah, I'm pissed. Even worse, management wants to know why I couldn't just override the damn thing, forgetting that if I did, they would be chewing my ass out.

The dull thud you keep hearing? It's just my head slamming into the nearest brick wall. Don't worry, I'm used to it. After a while the pain is quite refreshing, really.

I am now so pissed that I can literally not see straight. I want nothing more than to either scream or strangle something or both. Thankfully, I get sent to break, so my sanity is spared for a few precious moments. But my break is over far too soon and I must return to Idiot Central aka my crappy job.

I am loathe to return to lane 17, so I decide to do a little tidying up first--I take a basket back to the GM doors, I take back some items that were left behind, run and take a quick drink of water, you name it. As I finally make my way back to my prison cell register, I start to think about the past two days. And remembering my track record, I can't help but think I should be finding something amazingly awesome.

All right Primus, I think. It's been a shit couple of days; you seriously owe me and you better pay the hell up!

Not long after this little exchange I discovered that it's never a good idea to snap at a god. They take it pretty seriously. And Primus is no exception.

He paid up all right. Boy, howdy, he paid up.

Not ten minutes later, I get a kid (10 or 12 years old) with a Transformers Optimus Prime book cover and a Voyager-class ROTF Optimus Prime. The book cover scans, but the toy won't. I stop and stare at my register; this seems impossible. We sell Voyagers all the blasted time, so why the heck won't this one scan? Then I look at the UPC code; it's 13 numbers long. I look at the back of the box and there is no tech spec, only an abbreviated bio that happens to be in 12 different languages.

In my hands is a European Optimus Prime. It's all I can do not to freak.

I tell the kid that we have a small problem with this one, tuck EuroPrime behind my check reader and race to Toys. After a frantic few moments of searching I manage to find a domestic Optimus. I run back, ring up the domestic Voyager and do everything in my power to keep EuroPrime in my sights. I was giddy, to put it mildly; the only European toy I've ever seen was a Universe Acid Storm that one of our friends found in the same manner and sold to us.

Ten minutes later, I overheard a page for Toys. A cashier two aisles away has a second EuroPrime. How did I find this out? A customer in my lane told me; she said that the other cashier was having trouble with "that exact same toy" and pointed to the Prime that was still occupying space by the check reader.

Two European toys. In my store. It seemed impossible, but here it was. I could feel the blood rushing to my head, I was so excited.

I immediately cashed out her order, shut my lane down and raced over to register 21. "I know what to do!" I cried. "I can fix this!" I race to Toys yet again, find another domestic Prime and quickly make another swap.

Two European ROTF Optimus Primes. Both now resting safely at my register. I am nearly dancing with delight. I can barely wait for lunch so I can call Prime and tell him of my discovery.

When I do, he asks if we have anymore Euro toys (like, did someone in China screw up an entire Voyager-class case?). As I go back and check, I find a lone Bumblebee Battle Charger. He was simply sitting atop a Bumblebee roleplay cannon, as if he was waiting for me to come by and take him home. Of course, I did.

The rest of the day was a lot better. I got to take over GM self checks, which is my favorite place to be.... other than Toys, that is. And once I was done for the day, Prime and I went and took in another viewing of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen at a local second chance theater-cafe. Two and a half hours of kicking back in a plush-comfy chair while eating some really kickass pizza? Yes, please.

So yeah, I'd say Primus delivered that day. Maybe I should be a bit more grateful from now on; if he can drop stuff like that my way, I'd hate to see him pissed.

--Weasel, "Yeah, that could be pretty bad now that I think about it."

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday Photoblog: No Place Like Home Edition

Sign at Rib City in Cincinnati, Ohio. From the Cincinnati Fun Tour, BotCon 2008.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

It's Getting Interesting

It seems we have yet another shakeup coming; Sammy's taking over part of softlines, so one of the other head cashiers will be a 'super' head so to speak. The head in question is going to be Missa. I... really don't know what to say about that choice other than it seems like a much better pick than the rumored first one, John. No offense, but the guy barely knew his ass from a hole in the ground. I mean, he can be a decent guy but he's completely clueless.

Even worse? We're losing two heads, so three are being trained to fill in the empty spots. But the choices in this case aren't the world's greatest. One of them, Ivy has already let this go to her head. Another one, Marvin just isn't very sure of himself. The third, whose name escapes me at the moment, seems competent enough, but we're not going to know until the "trial by fire". So it'll be... pretty interesting at work in a few weeks.

I just don't know how this is going to affect the front end. The 'Fast-er, Friendli-er' crap has been anything but, so many of the other cashiers are pretty stressed out and I'm at my wit's end. Even worse, Cathy is pulling the usual BS which is driving everyone mad. Case in point, she did it again this past Monday--she ordered me to take people from lanes 1 and 4 because "the lines were long". I had four full self-checks, one of which had an alcohol purchase, and two others had mildly incompetent customers, so I was running around all four like an idiot. There was no way I could help anyone except my own customers. I nearly blew a gasket because of her idiocy.

I can't deal with anymore of this crap. I need another BotCon. Like now. Unfortunately, because I now know when the 2010 JoeCon will be, I believe that I also have a fair idea of when BotCon 2010 will be, and... (/cries)

--Weasel, slowly losing what's left of her mind...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

As the Toilet Clogs

Guess who signed with the Minnesota Vikings?

Yep, you guessed it.
I can't believe that people actually thought Brett would stay retired.

To the Vikings fans, you have my sympathies. The guy's almost 40 and had surgery. And he's a diva to boot. (A former coworker at Target will vouch for that last one.) But I can barely wait to get back to work on Thursday, for there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

And I will love every moment of it. Others will not (and do not), but man oh man...

I had to hear all the "Ted Thompson is evil" bullshit all last season. This is like a gift from the baby Primus. I am going to milk this for all it is worth.

--Weasel, "I'm evil like that."

Sunday, August 16, 2009

25 Random Things I Have Done

1) I have walked down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.
2) I have caught sand fiddlers while playing on the beach.
3) I have ridden out more hurricanes than I can count.
4) I have seen a white Christmas... while living on the coast of North Carolina.
5) I have seen robots working on an assembly line.
6) I have been on an airplane. Several times.
7) I have seen the La Brea tar pits.
8) I have been on the back lots of Paramount studios.
9) I have seen vehicles from the Transformers live action films.
10) I have seen The Lost Colony.
11) I have been on the docks at Wood's Hole.
12) I have met Weird Al and shaken his hand.
13) I have met all of Bumblebee's current domestic voice actors--Dan Gilvezan, Bumper Robinson and Mark Ryan.
14) I have seen a bald eagle take off while I was swimming in a city pool.
15) I have been to Disney World.
16) I have ridden the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios in California.
17) I have seen Michael Bay, live and in person.
18) I have touched the Autobot symbol on the front grille of the Optimus Prime Peterbilt truck.
19) I have personally thanked Aaron Archer for my plastic crack.
20) I have been down part of the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
21) I have seen the Hollywood Bowl, the Kodak Theatre, the Hollywood sign and Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
22) I have had my left arm squeezed by none other than Peter Cullen.
23) I have gotten engaged.
24) I have bought a house.
25) I have been in wonderful long term relationship. And enjoyed every second of it. (You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Prime!)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

25 Random Things I Have Never Done

1) I have never broken a bone.
2) I have never had my tonsels removed.
3) I have never watched Sex and the City.
4) I have never had a passport.
5) I have never owned a pet rat. But I want one badly.
6) I have never travelled outside the United States.
7) I have never attended a school dance.
8) I have never tried an illicit drug.
9) I have never gotten so drunk that I had a hangover.
10) I have never attended a college frat party.
11) I have never been on a cruise.
12) I have never gotten a manicure or pedicure.
13) I have never been arrested, tasered or spent a night in jail.
14) I have never been to a professional football game. And I lack the desire to go to one.
15) I have never stayed overnight in a hospital.
16) I have never had a baby.
17) I have never ridden a rollercoaster. And probably never will.
18) I have never gotten anything pierced. That includes my ears.
19) I have never seen "Gone With the Wind". And don't want to.
20) I have never had anyone throw a surprise party for me.
21) I have never owned a Camaro or a VW Beetle. But I want them both badly.
22) I have never surfed. The closest I've ever come is a boogie board.
23) I have never gotten a tattoo.
24) I have never been rollerblading.
25) I have never eaten sushi.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Friday Photoblog: Group Shot Edition

Standees of Bumblebee, Optimus Prime and Sari Sumdac from Transformers: Animated. From BotCon 2008.

Stick a Fork in It, For I am DONE...

Michael Vick has signed with the Eagles.

Fuck football. I'll take a Brewers game anyday.

Well, That's Pretty Darned Sudden...

According to, Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver will be hitting the US in the spring of 2010. Looks like I'll be shiny Lugia hunting during next year's BotCon, if I'm lucky.

I seriously gotta get hot on shiny breeding/catching in Platinum. Or I will not be ready for SoulSilver.

--Weasel, "Damn, that was freaking fast...."

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Random Thoughts Forever

Since there's so much running through my poor, pathetic feeble brain, it's time for
Random Thoughts

* My store finally got in leader class Jetfire, so I grabbed him. Too bad he's disappointing in one key aspect: the voice. Why the hell does Jetfire have a Scottish accent? And worse--why the hell isn't he Mark Ryan?! Fail, Hasbro. Serious damn fail. /nerdrage

* I am officially burned out on politics. If I have to hear anymore of this clownshit, be it "Obama was seen eating a baby" or "Healthcare reform will lead to a massive Twinkie uprising", I will punch something. Hard. (I just hope I don't punch a living creature. That could be bad.)

* We've just now hit a spate of hot weather. Wisconsinites are complaining about it. Loudly. Prime included (goes without saying..... but I said it anyway). He hates anything above 77°F (25°C, be scienterrific!), though, so maybe he's not the best thermometer. In a few months, the same Wisconsinites (except for Prime) will be complaining about subzero windchills. Loudly. Go figure.

* GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is in theatres. From what I've heard, it's actually really good. I'd like to see it, but I really want to see ROTF more. Again, go figure.

* My Pokémon Platinum game is screwing with me. In April, I tried to reset multiple times to get myself a shiny Starter. Nothing. Tried the same things with a Togepi egg and Rotom. Nothing. A bit over two and a half weeks ago, I'm playing the game and run into a wild shiny Zubat. You know the chances of randomly running into a shiny? One in 8,192. Yeah, the game is trying to screw with me all right.

* Speaking of PKMN--the Member Card is being distributed via Nintendo WiFi. For some odd reason, our wifi was malfing, so Prime worked his magic and we now have the Member Card. It'll be a while before I get myself a shiny Darkrai, though--I have a Manaphy egg waiting for me..... and I want to try and get it as a shiny. (No, I do not have a life!)

* I might actually want to put up a Christmas tree this year. This is why. With him on my tree, I'll certainly be in a holiday mood.

And that about does it. Tune in next time for even more strange and mind-bending brain droppings known as "Random Thoughts". Until then this has been...

--Weasel, "Signing out. Yet again."

Friday, August 07, 2009

Permission to Freak Out, Captain?!

It has not been a good week. At all.

Yesterday, I got ripped off. A customer came through my lane with a buy one get one free coupon. No big deal, right? Well, it turned out to be a very big deal--the customer was buying a $3 bottle of shampoo and trying to get a $6 styling aid for free. Needless to say, the register did not let the coupon go through. When that happens, we're not supposed to take the blasted things.

Here's where it gets stupid: the head cashier overrode the damned thing because the customer threw a fit. Why is this a big deal? The customer is an employee!

It's one thing when it's some random jerk off the street who's trying to scam you. It's entirely another when the person trying to scam you frickin' knows better. Or at least, they should know better. (That dull thudding sound you hear? It's my head slamming into the nearest wall.)

Today was no blasted better. The alarm didn't go off this morning, so Prime and I had to bust our skidplates to get ready. (Didn't really help Prime all that much, unfortunately.) Then I got to work. And it got interesting.

At 1:40, I was ringing up an order for a pair of female customers. As I bent over to grab one of the items on the belt, I heard one of them say, "Are you all right?" It seems while I had my head ducked, one of the women had wandered over to register five and slipped. She was now on the floor near the bagging area.

One of the other cashiers managed to flag down a head. It took a few moments, but management came up, got statements from the customers and got statements from me, the other cashier and the head who contacted management. Oddly, though, 'moments' was too long, and one of these women mentioned (snottily) how if this had happened in Target, people there would have been over to help them quick as a blink.

Doesn't that sound, if you think about it for a second, a little suspicious to you?

Yeah, I was a little bit freaked out by the whole incident. I couldn't wait to get my butt home. At least I have a Human Alliance Bumblebee to cuddle up with. I think I've earned it.

--Weasel, "Can I freak out now? Please?!"

Friday Photoblog: Real Effing Classified Edition

The Sector Seven Experience at BotCon 2007

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Getting Ready... Again

I hand-washed my Grimock shirt last night. It's hanging in the bathroom right now. It's almost ready to come off the hanger; the bottom hem is still slightly damp so it needs a few more hours. Once old Grimmy's dry, I'll take it down, fold it and put it with the other convention tees. Then on my next day off, I'll go ahead and pack them away.

It's been said that a man enjoys his vacation from the moment he makes his arrival, whereas a woman enjoys hers from the moment she starts packing. If that's true then I never stop enjoying BotCon, since I try to be ready for it so far in advance.

I really can't wait until next year. Sure it won't be as huge as this year's Con, but I need the break from reality. (This is where I can't help but say that Sam Witwicky was a bit of a moron; the absolute last thing I want is a normal life. Hey Sam, if you're that tired of it, I'll hang out with the robots.... and enjoy it!) I need a good nerding out to recharge the batteries so to speak. Too bad I'll have to wait a year.

Maybe I'll drag Prime to another viewing of ROTF; escaping the BS for a little while can only help.

--Weasel, "I could really use a good fantasy right now. Reality sucks."