Weasel's News Round-Up: Volume 2

Late Sunday Edition

All the news that's fit to bitch about!

All right, let's get this road on the show, shall we?

In our first story, Rep. John Murtha believes the massacre in an Iraqi town could hurt the US worse than Abu Ghraib. He's probably right. All I can say is, we have another El Mozote on our hands.

In other news Wal-Mart is trying to trademark the smiley face. I have two words for Wal-Mart: Fuck. You.

File this one under "Mission Accomplished, my ass": Iraqi athletes have been shot for wearing shorts. Yep, great job installing democracy there, Chimpo. High five!

Big Brother is watching you. But, it's for the children! Won't you please think of the children?! Yeah, right. Kiss my ass, Gonzales.

So much for moving to Canada. I guess they're no longer the bastion of tolerance that I had once believed, at least not when it comes to gays. Pity. They've got no one to blame but themselves. I hear Denmark is nice this time of year...

And people believe this rampaging idiot. Yeah, he leg pressed 2,000 lbs. Sure he did. I'll believe him when he testicle-presses 2,500 lbs. Maybe that will shut his hole. And give him a great singing voice.

If you thought your PC sucked balls, then check this shit. Well, I don't see my old Compaq on the list, so I am forced to assume it is incomplete. (Though they are dead on about AOhelL.)

According to Michael Bay, the now infamous script that has most Transformer fans in an uproar is over four months old. Good. Anything that lessens the appearance of a mute Bumblebee is great in my book. (Now if only Bay would come out and say that yes, Bumblebee will talk in the movie....!)

Speaking of my favorite mini-bot, the Transformers Collectors Club newsletter has revealed what Bumblebee will look like in the up-coming Transformers Classics line. All I can say is this: I can't fucking wait until November. I will be buying twelve of him! :)

And that'll wrap things up until next time. Until then, this is your anchor-ferret, the Weasel, signing off.

Okay, Now I'm Pissed...!

Fucking Senate.

At least Feingold has balls. If he campaigns for President, I will vote for him in a second.

--Weasel, "Let's all try for a ban against stupidity. Think that'll pass Congress?"

Random Thoughts Ver 2

This sucks.

I'll be heading to St. Paul, Minnesota tomorrow and what the hell happens? I wake up with a fricking sore throat today. A three day weekend and I'm coming down with something! I would scream, but it would make my throat feel worse. Which brings me to a sore (ha, ha) point: if you, your child or a your loved one is sick, don't freaking shop. The cashiers don't want your damned germs! And for God's sake, don't let your sick child drool on merchandise and then hand the sticky mess to us. It's frigging disgusting. I mean, would you want to write out your check with a saliva-coated pen? Didn't think so.

But enough about that. It's time for:

Weasel's Random Thoughts Ver 2

*According to a recent poll conducted by my local paper, 35% of Northeastern Wisconsin residents have a problem with the NSA looking at their phone records. A whopping 65% do not. To the 65% who don't give a crap about privacy: would it piss you off it was an advertising agency looking at your phone records? What the hell is wrong with you?

*I'm currently reading Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code. It's an interesting read, nothing earth-shattering (most of the historical facts about the Church I already knew) but it's fun. I'm half-tempted to buy a ticket to see the movie just to piss off the Religious Right.

*A local teacher who worked in a Catholic school was recently fired. Why? She conceived a child using in-vitro fertilization, which the Church opposes. Reactions have been mixed; some people support the fired teacher, others siding with the Church. One Church supporter was glad that they stuck with their morals. I'm glad, too. Maybe this will make people realize just how much of a festering pile of excrement this entire situation has become. (I guess the Catholic Church really isn't pro-life after all.)

*The Senate voted to make English our national language. Great idea.... if it applies to our natural-born citizens. God knows, W sure as hell isn't speaking our "national language".

*X-Men 3 comes out on the 26th of this month. I don't know who's more stoked, me or Prime.

*The shit hit the fan recently regarding the up-coming Transformers live action movie. According the Allspark, a guy by the name of Nelsons just let some "insider info" slip. The resulting "revelations" caused on uproar among the fans. Case in point:

Bumblebee is mute because his vocal chords have been damaged in battle.

When I heard that, I near crapped my pants in rage. But there's still more; the fans questioned, Michael Bay answered. I'm hoping for the best.

And that's all for today. Tune in next time when I bitch about more random crap.

--Weasel, already getting sick and tired of the taste of fricking Halls cough drops....

Score One for Intelligence

It seems schoolchildren in Georgia can keep reading Harry Potter. The school board will not remove the books. Thank Primus there are some intelligent people out there.

Unfortunately, little Miss Idiot can't keep her fool trap shut:

"I want to protect children from evil, not fill their minds with it" Mallory said at the hearing. "The 'Harry Potter' books teach children and adults that witchcraft is OK for children."

Please shut the fuck up, lady. You are committing a public display of stupidity. Too bad you cannot be jailed for it.

However, not everyone is so sane.

Yes, you are reading that correctly: censorship of children's books is on the rise. The biggest offender? So-called "occult" or "satanic" themes.

Concerns about perceived occult, satanic and anti-Christian themes drove many incidences of censorship, he said. "That issue is more prominent now than it was 12 years ago," he said. "We seem to be following a lot of American trends."

I don't hear Ms Mallory bemoaning about the anti-Pagan bias that many Wiccans, Pagans and Goddess worshippers have to live with on a daily basis. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's only them good, God fearing christian folk who have to worry about being "oppressed".

Yeah, right. Who's really being oppressed here?

--Weasel, thinking Ms. Mallory needs to cry herself a river, build a damn bridge and get the fuck over it.

Monitor My Calls...

...please.

It seems the government hasn't only been listening in on the private sector. They've been listening to the media. The scary thing?

Under Bush Administration guidelines, it is not considered illegal for the government to keep track of numbers dialed by phone customers.

Guess ol' Bushie-poo's gonna know how many times you called your sweet, grey-haired granny. Let's just hope she doesn't live overseas...

--Weasel, "Whatever happened to 'This phone call could be monitored for customer service...'?"

Awwwww!! How Cuuuuuuuuuuute!!

Took a Poke-quiz. Here's the result:



I didn't know I was that cute!

--Weasel, who can't help but wonder which Autobot she would be.....

Hypocrisy? Or Stupidity?

You decide.

I'm often floored by the complete and utter idiocy of some members of our species; I know they don't mean to act so stupidly (they can't help it, really) but I still can't help but find their behavior... well, insane. Case in point:

A couple of days ago, Prime and I decided to hit the new Best Buy near my place of employment. As we pull into the nearest open parking space, my blood pressure immediately goes up about fifty points. We were parked behind a truck that was obviously owned by a neo-con; the bumper stickers proved it. On the left side of this brain trust's vehicle was a bumper sticker sniping, "It's easy to be 'pro-life' when you're not the one being killed," (the "ll"s in killed were footprints) while on the right side, s/he trumpeted, "Real heroes wear camo. Support our troops."

Um, what?

Why on earth would you dare whimper about the "poor, poor fetuses" when there are living, breathing people dying in an unjust war being waged in a foreign country? Why fight so hard to save something that, at its earliest stage, lacks a fucking spine and brain, while you're hellbent on sending someone's son or daughter to get shot at by a pissed off Sunni or Shiite? What the fuck is wrong with you? How can you even dare to claim to be "pro-life"?

It's brutally apparent that you are not. Or, you're pro-life only at leisure.

--Weasel, who wants a bumper sticker that says, "Pro-war? You can't be pro-life."