Quarter Century

On this day, 25 years ago, The Transformers: the Movie premiered in theaters nationwide.

Before you ask, no, I didn't get lucky enough to see it on its release date. I didn't even get lucky enough to see it on the release weekend. I actually saw it over a week later, after much begging and pleading. Being 11, I had to go to the theater with my mother, as she wouldn't let me go alone. We went in the early afternoon, making the trip in Dad's old blue and white Dodge truck, which is long since gone.

My first impression of the movie was one of surprise; there was a massive twenty year time skip between the series and the feature film. There were also Autobots onscreen that I had never seen before. Who exactly was Kup? Where did Blurr come from? Why hadn't Optimus Prime ever mentioned them before? Although I was a bit confused, I just rolled with it and followed the action.

And there was a lot of action. A lot of death, as well.

Contrary to popular belief, I did not cry during Optimus Prime's death. My mother spoiled that scene for me about a week before the movie's release and said outright that she didn't want to see me crying over it. I was a stubborn kid and I flatly refused to show any true emotion during that scene. All I did was bite my knuckle and soldier onward. It wasn't meant to be any sort of disrespect to Optimus--I did it to spite my mother. We never really have gotten along; there's quite a bit of baggage with that relationship.

That didn't mean that I wasn't heartbroken. I had admired Optimus Prime since I was nine. Seeing him pass on was like watching a member of my own family die and I wasn't allowed to mourn for him. In the next twenty-five years, I would make up for this, as I cannot watch this scene without tearing up. Even the music brings me to tears.

But it wasn't only Optimus Prime who passed on: Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl, Wheeljack and Windcharger, just to name a few, were also cut down. There were so many Autobots dying that I lived in fear of what may happen to my sweet Bumblebee. He had been taken out of the action early and I feared the worst for him. Thankfully, he was one of the lucky few who were spared.

Later, I did admit that seeing Bumblebee in peril made my heart skip a few beats.

I was stunned to see Hot Rod become the new Autobot leader and, to this day, still shudder at the name of Unicron. For an 11-year-old, the movie was truly epic. I really didn't want it to end. However, nothing good can last forever.

Unfortunately, as soon as the credits began rolling, my mother insisted we leave. It would be years before I could finally see them in their entirety. It's another thing that I and my mother did not agree upon--I didn't believe I should leave the theater until the entire film is done. Mother didn't see it that way. And now, I am forced to wonder if I could have spotted the name Dan Gilvezan and committed it to memory, saving me years of raw vocal chasing and frustration. But I'll never know.

I was only able to see it in the theater once. I wanted desperately to go again. I truly loved what I had seen and wanted to experience it in all its glory for a second time but I knew better than to ask. Seeing a movie in a theater for a second time was out of the question. I wouldn't be able to do so until I was an adult and at BotCon. A gift to myself, I guess you could call it.

A lot has changed in the quarter century since the release of The Transformers: the Movie. The home I lived in has been sold and the dirt road I lived on has been paved. The cats that ran about the yard are only memories. The old mutt that we kept is gone. And quite a few of the things I thought I knew about my family and childhood have changed radically. But some things have not. After twenty-five years (and longer, really), I'm still a fan. I can't help but think that I'm a bigger fan now than I was when I was younger; those Robots in Disguise have helped me get through a lot in my life.

I'm a different person now than I was 25 years ago but Transformers will always be a part of my life. The Autobots and Decepticons are one of the few things that I can count on, that I can depend on, that I will always love.

'Til all are one!