Sunday, May 28, 2006

Weasel's News Round-Up: Volume 2

Late Sunday Edition

All the news that's fit to bitch about!

All right, let's get this road on the show, shall we?

In our first story, Rep. John Murtha believes the massacre in an Iraqi town could hurt the US worse than Abu Ghraib. He's probably right. All I can say is, we have another El Mozote on our hands.

In other news Wal-Mart is trying to trademark the smiley face. I have two words for Wal-Mart: Fuck. You.

File this one under "Mission Accomplished, my ass": Iraqi athletes have been shot for wearing shorts. Yep, great job installing democracy there, Chimpo. High five!

Big Brother is watching you. But, it's for the children! Won't you please think of the children?! Yeah, right. Kiss my ass, Gonzales.

So much for moving to Canada. I guess they're no longer the bastion of tolerance that I had once believed, at least not when it comes to gays. Pity. They've got no one to blame but themselves. I hear Denmark is nice this time of year...

And people believe this rampaging idiot. Yeah, he leg pressed 2,000 lbs. Sure he did. I'll believe him when he testicle-presses 2,500 lbs. Maybe that will shut his hole. And give him a great singing voice.

If you thought your PC sucked balls, then check this shit. Well, I don't see my old Compaq on the list, so I am forced to assume it is incomplete. (Though they are dead on about AOhelL.)

According to Michael Bay, the now infamous script that has most Transformer fans in an uproar is over four months old. Good. Anything that lessens the appearance of a mute Bumblebee is great in my book. (Now if only Bay would come out and say that yes, Bumblebee will talk in the movie....!)

Speaking of my favorite mini-bot, the Transformers Collectors Club newsletter has revealed what Bumblebee will look like in the up-coming Transformers Classics line. All I can say is this: I can't fucking wait until November. I will be buying twelve of him! :)

And that'll wrap things up until next time. Until then, this is your anchor-ferret, the Weasel, signing off.

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