Asshats of the Week

"Out of the Frying Pan" Edition

You did your thing, now serve your time.

Troy Gentry is facing jail time for shooting a caged, tamed bear by the name of Cubby. Yes, a tamed, caged bear. Swift one there, Troy. Your actions earn you an all expenses paid trip to Alaska for a bear hunt. There are a few rules for this, you know: no weapons, no gear, no chance in Hell. We'll see how much of a "real" man you are when Cubby's extended family has a fighting chance. Have fun at the Bear Family Reunion.

Don't quit your day job... oh wait, you did.

Good one, Andrew. Instead of helping Wal-Mart, you've given them another dose of public humiliation. You know, you really shouldn't have quit your day job. Wal-Mart could still use your "help". (Maybe a few more bonebrained comments would finally convince the public at large that it is a very bad thing to shop at the Grinning Monster.) Your comments have earned you a mint-scented enema, so your ass will be minty fresh the next time you wanna speak out of it.

I see drunk people... they don't know they're drunk.

I can't find the words to describe this. Under 21, with a DUI. And caught with pot to boot. At least you didn't kill anyone. You've earned a trip to rehab, where you'll see lots of stoned people. And you can't make them go away.

And people wonder why OJ got off.

These two retards caused a car crash which ended in a driver being injured and his passenger suffering brain damage. What do they get? A couple of slaps on the wrist and a "Now don't you good boys do that again." The judge earns brain surgery (to remove his head from his ass) and the two boys earn a training program a la 1993's classic movie, The Program. Hope you dildos like playing chicken with fast moving cars.

Somebody's hungry for an asswhuppin'.

This moron waits until his host is out of the room, removes dinner from the hot pan, and dunks in the hosts kittens. I would say this guy was acting stupid, but it blatantly apparent that this is anything but an act. Idiot boy has earned his dumb ass a cheap, no frills neutering: one lit stick of dynamite and the order to count to ten. (Hey, it's more than obvious that this dipshit couldn't count to ten without the aid of both hands. >:)

That's about all the asshattery I can take for one week. So until next time remember, if you don't want the "honor" of being on this list, don't be an asshat.