Friday, November 26, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
And Now For Something Completely Different...
As you all know, I'm a die hard Brewers fan. I eat, sleep, and dream Brewers. I love my team, love my guys and support them through thick and thin. Even if they go down in a shutout, I don't care. I'm still there, whether at Miller Park or watching via Fox Sports Wisconsin; I'm there for them and screaming my head off. I don't abandon my team. They are my guys and I support them 110%, no matter what.
It goes without saying that I really miss baseball season. Not being able to ask Prime, "How'd my guys do?" is a bit depressing.
So when I found this little gem surfing the 'net a couple of days ago, it gave me a much needed chuckle. I even let Prime read it. Whether or not he found it funny, he ain't sayin' but he did read it, at least.
Now, if you've never seen John Axford, you are missing a moustache of truly epic proportions. I mean, this 'stache is Rollie Fingers epic. It truly is a sight to behold. "Majestic" would be a good word for it. When I see it, I am in awe of it. I have often shouted, "EPIC 'STACHE MAN!" as Axford has headed out to the mound. Truly, it is quite awesome and awe-inspiring.
A couple of days ago, while I was bored at work, I started to scribble out a few pseudo-facts of my own. I hope they give you a chuckle or two, like they did for me. I present to you--
* John Axford's moustache has a black belt in karate.
* John Axford's moustache graduated with a 5.0 GPA from Harvard.
* John Axford's moustache is bulletproof.
* John Axford's moustache can speak 18 different languages fluently.
* John Axford's moustache is worshipped as a god in southeastern Asia.
* John Axford's moustache knows who killed JFK, but the Warren Commission wasn't willing to admit that a tuft of facial hair knew more about the situation than they did.
* John Axford's moustache knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.
* John Axford's moustache rides a Harley.
* John Axford's moustache has the keys to Fort Knox.
* John Axford's moustache can strike out Chuck Norris... with one pitch.
* John Axford's moustache knows the correct lyrics to "Louie, Louie".
* John Axford's moustache has been nailed for speeding in Broken Bow OK, Decatur IL and Rosendale WI--and talked its way out of all three impending tickets.
* John Axford's moustache is the only viable shelter during a natural disaster.
* John Axford's moustache takes its rum and Coke on the rocks... without the Coke.
* John Axford's moustache has fought in six World Wars and won them all.
* John Axford's moustache knows how to party, even better than California.
* John Axford's moustache is one of only two things that can kill Wolverine.
* John Axford's moustache once called R. Lee Ermey a wuss and got away with it.
* John Axford's moustache has a Camaro for every day of the week.
* John Axford's moustache can sucker-punch Godzilla.
* John Axford's moustache won a Pulitzer Prize in Literature.
* John Axford's moustache knows the exact location of the Fountain of Youth.
* John Axford's moustache has a replica of the Stargate... that actually works.
* John Axford's moustache is the one thing that scares Chuck Norris.
* John Axford's moustache has its own chauffeur.
* John Axford's moustache does not "pity the fool".
* John Axford's moustache can play twelve different instruments, all self-taught.
* John Axford's moustache can ace Through the Fire and the Flames on Guitar Hero's Expert level... with one hand.
* John Axford's moustache knows the secret of the Secret Stadium Sauce at Miller Park but refuses to tell.
* John Axford's moustache gave the Colonel his secret recipe of 12 herbs and spices.
* John Axford's moustache won the first World Series... twice.
* Beneath Chuck Norris's beard might be another fist, but beneath John Axford's moustache is the wicked fastball that you never saw coming.
Expect this list to grow; it's a long way 'til Brewers On Deck, even longer 'til Spring Training and don't even mention the start of next season. Hide the peanuts and Cracker Jack until then, 'kay?
--Weasel, counting down the days until March 31.
**NON-RANDOM PLUG!**
If you have a Twitter account, do me a favor and follow John Axford. If he gets more followers, maybe we'll see more of the Crew on there and you know how happy that would make me. Thank you.
It goes without saying that I really miss baseball season. Not being able to ask Prime, "How'd my guys do?" is a bit depressing.
So when I found this little gem surfing the 'net a couple of days ago, it gave me a much needed chuckle. I even let Prime read it. Whether or not he found it funny, he ain't sayin' but he did read it, at least.
Now, if you've never seen John Axford, you are missing a moustache of truly epic proportions. I mean, this 'stache is Rollie Fingers epic. It truly is a sight to behold. "Majestic" would be a good word for it. When I see it, I am in awe of it. I have often shouted, "EPIC 'STACHE MAN!" as Axford has headed out to the mound. Truly, it is quite awesome and awe-inspiring.
A couple of days ago, while I was bored at work, I started to scribble out a few pseudo-facts of my own. I hope they give you a chuckle or two, like they did for me. I present to you--
Random Facts about John Axford's Moustache:
* John Axford's moustache has a black belt in karate.
* John Axford's moustache graduated with a 5.0 GPA from Harvard.
* John Axford's moustache is bulletproof.
* John Axford's moustache can speak 18 different languages fluently.
* John Axford's moustache is worshipped as a god in southeastern Asia.
* John Axford's moustache knows who killed JFK, but the Warren Commission wasn't willing to admit that a tuft of facial hair knew more about the situation than they did.
* John Axford's moustache knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.
* John Axford's moustache rides a Harley.
* John Axford's moustache has the keys to Fort Knox.
* John Axford's moustache can strike out Chuck Norris... with one pitch.
* John Axford's moustache knows the correct lyrics to "Louie, Louie".
* John Axford's moustache has been nailed for speeding in Broken Bow OK, Decatur IL and Rosendale WI--and talked its way out of all three impending tickets.
* John Axford's moustache is the only viable shelter during a natural disaster.
* John Axford's moustache takes its rum and Coke on the rocks... without the Coke.
* John Axford's moustache has fought in six World Wars and won them all.
* John Axford's moustache knows how to party, even better than California.
* John Axford's moustache is one of only two things that can kill Wolverine.
* John Axford's moustache once called R. Lee Ermey a wuss and got away with it.
* John Axford's moustache has a Camaro for every day of the week.
* John Axford's moustache can sucker-punch Godzilla.
* John Axford's moustache won a Pulitzer Prize in Literature.
* John Axford's moustache knows the exact location of the Fountain of Youth.
* John Axford's moustache has a replica of the Stargate... that actually works.
* John Axford's moustache is the one thing that scares Chuck Norris.
* John Axford's moustache has its own chauffeur.
* John Axford's moustache does not "pity the fool".
* John Axford's moustache can play twelve different instruments, all self-taught.
* John Axford's moustache can ace Through the Fire and the Flames on Guitar Hero's Expert level... with one hand.
* John Axford's moustache knows the secret of the Secret Stadium Sauce at Miller Park but refuses to tell.
* John Axford's moustache gave the Colonel his secret recipe of 12 herbs and spices.
* John Axford's moustache won the first World Series... twice.
* Beneath Chuck Norris's beard might be another fist, but beneath John Axford's moustache is the wicked fastball that you never saw coming.
Expect this list to grow; it's a long way 'til Brewers On Deck, even longer 'til Spring Training and don't even mention the start of next season. Hide the peanuts and Cracker Jack until then, 'kay?
--Weasel, counting down the days until March 31.
**NON-RANDOM PLUG!**
If you have a Twitter account, do me a favor and follow John Axford. If he gets more followers, maybe we'll see more of the Crew on there and you know how happy that would make me. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Black Friday
So, I'm in at nine o'clock the day after Thanksgiving. I'll be in after the bullshit has been said and done.
I'm actually kinda glad; one of my friends has to be in at his store at midnight, IIRC. Yeah, that would piss me the hell off, too.
I wonder how many people will end up getting punched in the ribs or kicked in the face trying to grab whatever cheap-ass TV or hot new toy that's on the sales floor this year.
Really people, is this shit worth getting injured over? Yeah, didn't think so.
--Weasel, who wouldn't step foot out of her house if she didn't have to go to work that day.
I'm actually kinda glad; one of my friends has to be in at his store at midnight, IIRC. Yeah, that would piss me the hell off, too.
I wonder how many people will end up getting punched in the ribs or kicked in the face trying to grab whatever cheap-ass TV or hot new toy that's on the sales floor this year.
Really people, is this shit worth getting injured over? Yeah, didn't think so.
--Weasel, who wouldn't step foot out of her house if she didn't have to go to work that day.
Friday, November 12, 2010
For My Friends
(Click the title for music. The lyrics can be found here.)
For all my friends, I send this message to you all. You know who you are. And I mean it, every word.
Itsumo sasaete kureru hitotachi ni
Higorono omoi wo kometa rhapsody e
Appreciation no kimochi wo todoke
Itsumo arigato hontou arigato
Tatoe doko ni tatte kimi no sonzai ni
Kansha shiteru yo
Hito wa daremo hitoridewa ikite ikeyashinai
Tagai ga tagai wo itsumo care shiai
Rikai dekinai toki wa hanashiai
Hara kakaeru gurai warai ai tai
Nanoni naze kou toki ni kenashiai
Kizu tsukiau no teki ga shinai
Baka baka shii hodo kimi ga sukida
Terekusai kedo chotto honki da
To all the people who have supported me..
This heartfelt rhapsody goes out to you
To send you my feelings of appreciation
Thank you...I really thank you
Wherever you may be,
I'm grateful for you
Nobody can go on living just on their own
We each take care of one another
And talk it over when we misunderstand each other
I wanna throw my head back and laugh together
And yet why do we sometimes insult each other
And hurt one another
I love you so much it's almost silly
It's a little embarrassing, but I really mean it
For all my friends, I send this message to you all. You know who you are. And I mean it, every word.
Itsumo sasaete kureru hitotachi ni
Higorono omoi wo kometa rhapsody e
Appreciation no kimochi wo todoke
Itsumo arigato hontou arigato
Tatoe doko ni tatte kimi no sonzai ni
Kansha shiteru yo
Hito wa daremo hitoridewa ikite ikeyashinai
Tagai ga tagai wo itsumo care shiai
Rikai dekinai toki wa hanashiai
Hara kakaeru gurai warai ai tai
Nanoni naze kou toki ni kenashiai
Kizu tsukiau no teki ga shinai
Baka baka shii hodo kimi ga sukida
Terekusai kedo chotto honki da
To all the people who have supported me..
This heartfelt rhapsody goes out to you
To send you my feelings of appreciation
Thank you...I really thank you
Wherever you may be,
I'm grateful for you
Nobody can go on living just on their own
We each take care of one another
And talk it over when we misunderstand each other
I wanna throw my head back and laugh together
And yet why do we sometimes insult each other
And hurt one another
I love you so much it's almost silly
It's a little embarrassing, but I really mean it
Labels:
moods,
my friends,
special occasions
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Freefall
I have a few stones sitting in the window sill in my bedroom. They're catching some sun in order to purify them. Sounds stupid, but I need something physical around my neck to help me feel grounded. Primus knows, anything will help at this point. Hell, it can't hurt, I know that much.
Thursday night, Prime and I saw our friend Shawn. He came bearing Bumblebee goodness; namely three of the $41.99 CostCo exclusive Battle Ops Bumblebee sets. After we settled up, the three of us went out to dinner together.
I went ahead and told Shawn my brand new family situation. After I told him, Prime suggested I take a sip of his frozen margarita to help calm my nerves. He could tell I was pretty upset by everything.
I didn't take a sip. I had to stop myself from emptying Prime's glass.
Thankfully, I had the brains to stick to soda when it came to my dinner. If I had gotten anything alcoholic, I don't think I'd have stopped at one damn drink. I probably would have gotten so damned drunk I wouldn't have been able to see straight. (Though I'm sure Prime would've stopped me.)
I'm past the weirded-out phase. Now all I want to do is lay in bed and fucking cry all day.
I think I prefer the weirded-out phase. The urge to start sobbing while I'm standing at my register doesn't feel so great, believe me.
I've been asking myself questions, questions I never wanted to ask myself, questions I really don't want to hear the answers to. It's not pleasant. I wouldn't wish this slag on anyone.
I have my brother's address. He knows I exist. I should write him, or at least try but every time I try and think of anything to say, I freeze. I don't know what the hell to say.
I can fill an entire notebook with story ideas but I have no idea what the hell to say to my own damn brother. Primus, I feel fucking useless some days.
So help me Primus, if I ever see another one of those "Life: What a Beautiful Choice" commercials, I will send my goddamn fist through the television. Because the way I'm feeling right now isn't beautiful at all. It's hell.
--Weasel, still wanting to cry.
Thursday night, Prime and I saw our friend Shawn. He came bearing Bumblebee goodness; namely three of the $41.99 CostCo exclusive Battle Ops Bumblebee sets. After we settled up, the three of us went out to dinner together.
I went ahead and told Shawn my brand new family situation. After I told him, Prime suggested I take a sip of his frozen margarita to help calm my nerves. He could tell I was pretty upset by everything.
I didn't take a sip. I had to stop myself from emptying Prime's glass.
Thankfully, I had the brains to stick to soda when it came to my dinner. If I had gotten anything alcoholic, I don't think I'd have stopped at one damn drink. I probably would have gotten so damned drunk I wouldn't have been able to see straight. (Though I'm sure Prime would've stopped me.)
I'm past the weirded-out phase. Now all I want to do is lay in bed and fucking cry all day.
I think I prefer the weirded-out phase. The urge to start sobbing while I'm standing at my register doesn't feel so great, believe me.
I've been asking myself questions, questions I never wanted to ask myself, questions I really don't want to hear the answers to. It's not pleasant. I wouldn't wish this slag on anyone.
I have my brother's address. He knows I exist. I should write him, or at least try but every time I try and think of anything to say, I freeze. I don't know what the hell to say.
I can fill an entire notebook with story ideas but I have no idea what the hell to say to my own damn brother. Primus, I feel fucking useless some days.
So help me Primus, if I ever see another one of those "Life: What a Beautiful Choice" commercials, I will send my goddamn fist through the television. Because the way I'm feeling right now isn't beautiful at all. It's hell.
--Weasel, still wanting to cry.
Friday, November 05, 2010
Thursday, November 04, 2010
(Insert Snarky Title Here)
So I called my parents on Monday. They're doing well. Then Mom dropped a bomb on me.
I have an older brother. Whom I never knew existed.
.....
Yeah, that was my reaction, too.
Still kinda weirded-out here. Guess it's going to take me a while to get used to not being the only kid in the family. (But at least now I can say I'm someone's annoying little sister!)
--Weasel, really weirded-out by all this.
I have an older brother. Whom I never knew existed.
.....
Yeah, that was my reaction, too.
Still kinda weirded-out here. Guess it's going to take me a while to get used to not being the only kid in the family. (But at least now I can say I'm someone's annoying little sister!)
--Weasel, really weirded-out by all this.
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