Taking Risks

"Risk"
And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
it took
to blossom.
-Anias Nin

I have never been the type to take risks. One of the biggest risks I have ever taken was going out with my ex-boyfriend.

I spent well over five years with him. It didn't end well.

After that, I pretty much swore off taking anymore risks. It wasn't worth it. I decided that I should stick with the safest path possible. Nothing bad would happen to me if I did.

Then came July 1999. I decided to take another risk. This was a huge one. I hopped on a plane and went to St Paul, Minnesota to attend BotCon and meet Prime. I wasn't sure how this would turn out; I had played it safe for two years. I wasn't sure if I was truly ready for another risky undertaking. I had no idea how this would turn out.

A week later, I told Prime I loved him.

It was a risk well worth taking--Prime and I have been together for over a decade. He's the light of my life and pain in my ass and life couldn't be better.

Now I'm taking another risk of sorts. I'm writing. I have no idea how this risk will pan out, whether or not it will be successful but by Primus I'm doing it.

Because not doing it would be too painful. And I'm sick of living a normal, safe life. I just want to take the plunge for once and see how things go.

Hopefully, everything will go well. But even if they don't I'll know that I tried.