Weasel's News Round-Up

I report the news, so you won't have to jump around the net!

Our first story for today: an eighth grader removed a hidden camera from the boys bathroom, netting himself a five day suspension. Yes, you read that right. He's being suspended and this is going on his permanent record as "stealing" school property. If that doesn't piss you off, then this will:

"That was the interesting part to me that surprised me -- Ms. Massengil, the middle school principal, nor the teachers were aware. No one seemed to be aware besides the principal at the high school," Champion said. "I had told the high school principal, Mr. Fore, that he needed to come up with another solution -- that this wasn't appropriate. His response to me was he was going to continue to film." (All emphasis mine.)

Mr. Pervert High School Principal needs to have his sorry ass fired. Immediately. If not fucking sooner. Can we say "potential molester/pervert"? Sure we can! Gods, what an assbrain!

In other news: Newsmax proves it's only good for lining the bottom of birdcages. I just love their "logic" or lack thereof. "Hey, if torture broke John McCain, then we should use it!"

"That McCain broke under torture doesn't make him any less of an American hero. But it does prove he's wrong to claim that harsh interrogation techniques simply don't work."

Um, yeah. You dipsticks realize he signed a paper confessing his crimes that was not in his native language?! Hello, McFly! How fucking "useful" is that?! But, it doesn't matter much anyway. Love some of the "techniques" being used:

"Long Time Standing: This technique is described as among the most effective. Prisoners are forced to stand, handcuffed and with their feet shackled to an eye bolt in the floor for more than 40 hours. Exhaustion and sleep deprivation are effective in yielding confessions.

The Cold Cell: The prisoner is left to stand naked in a cell kept near 50 degrees. Throughout the time in the cell the prisoner is doused with cold water."

This one makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it:

"Water Boarding: The prisoner is bound to an inclined board, feet raised and head slightly below the feet. Cellophane is wrapped over the prisoner's face and water is poured over him. Unavoidably, the gag reflex kicks in and a terrifying fear of drowning leads to almost instant pleas to bring the treatment to a halt."

Yeah, I'm sure shit like this will bring about "confessions", all right. By the time these dipshits are done with this poor son of a bitch, he'll claim he shoved a bomb in his scrotum and the sky is purple with hot pink spots! As it's stated in the article, this is ..."bad interrogation. I mean you can get anyone to confess to anything if the torture's bad enough," said former CIA officer Bob Baer.

And in our last story for today, a "doctor" proves that he's a total moron by denying an 18 year old Wiccan girl birth control pills. Gotta love it: "I found out later he did diagnose me with depression because I cried."

Uh-huh. A diagnosis of depression because she cried. I diagnose him with "cranial-rectal impact" or "head up ass" syndrome. There's no real cure for it Doc, short of a common sense transplant. But in your case, it won't fucking help. You're a clear example of a waste of a college education. Dumbass.

That's all for today. This has been your anchor-ferret,

--Weasel, signing off.