25 Years

Prime thinks I went a liiiiittle overboard with this. But he's not the writer, he's the editor. The editor under my THUMB OF DOOM. So nuts to him. :)


Twenty-five years ago today, the very first Transformers comic hit the newsstands. Although I have few memories of that day or that comic, the franchise it helped to launch became a very important part of my life.

Growing Up Autobot

My first introduction to The Transformers came from the toys, which I had spotted in a store in my hometown in North Carolina. It may have been Kmart, or it could have been the local Best Products. In any case, the result was the same...to say I wasn’t impressed was putting it nicely. My mindset was simple--a robot should be a robot, a car should be a car and never the twain should meet. It wasn’t until later that I would change my mind.

It was the cartoon that ultimately drew me into the Transformers universe. More specifically, a plucky little yellow Autobot who quickly became my first crush.

Since my father now worked for the local cable company, my family received free cable. One weekday afternoon, in a fit of boredom, I was restlessly flipping through the channels looking for anything decent to watch. I stumbled across WGN, which was called ‘The Chicago Channel’ by most people living in the south, including myself. In a stroke of good fortune, I discovered that they were airing cartoons. At that age, only animation would keep my attention for an extended amount of time. Curious, I decided to watch.

The first was GI Joe. It was interesting enough, so I stuck around to see what else was on. The next offering that met my eyes would influence me for many years to come, though I had no clue at the time. The second cartoon was Transformers.

Within a few moments, I was already draw into the mythos; an entire world of sentient robots? I had adored all things robotic since I was 4 years old, so sign me up! After seeing the first episode, I wanted more.

I watched the entire three-episode special. I was hooked instantly.

Then came Transport to Oblivion. It was then I fell in love. My first crush was an Autobot named Bumblebee.

In the episode, it happened so suddenly--Spike Witwicky was in danger and Bumblebee rushed in to save his friend. As if that wasn’t noble enough, what Bumblebee said during the rescue sealed the deal: “I got him into this mess, I’ll get him out!”

It was love at first sight--someone who was self-sacrificing, loyal and incredibly cute. At the age of nine, I had figured out who my dream date would be and it was Bumblebee. In my eyes, he was utter perfection. I idolized him, adored him and often thought how awesome it would be to meet him. He was the reason I became a fan of The Transformers.

I had very little money as a child, so my collection consisted of only two toys: one lone Powerdasher jet and an Astrotrain that I had gotten from my uncle at Christmas. But that did not stop me from being a fan. I showed my affection for the Autobots in other ways. During fourth grade, I begged my mother for Transformer-themed school supplies. I wrote short stories and fanfics in my spare time. When my mother would banish me from the house with the words “Go outside and play!” I would cast myself as a secret agent, working for the Autobots. In my fertile imagination, I would join up with Bumblebee to spy on the Decepticons or help him in mounting a rescue mission to save Optimus Prime and the other Autobots from certain destruction at the hands of Megatron. In the back of my notebooks and on spare pieces of paper I would scribble the words “I love Bumblebee”. Although I lacked the toys, I certainly did not lack the enthusiasm.

My Life as a Teenage Cybertronian

During my turbulent teenage years, I began to forget; I forgot about Bumblebee and Optimus Prime and the other heroic Autobots. My life had taken a different turn. I was now fighting my way through adolescence and desperately trying to fit in, which I never really did. It wasn’t until later that I began to remember...that fate guided me back.

During my freshman year of high school, I suffered through several particularly bad days. I was lost and lonely. I had no friends and had a very difficult time identifying with the other students. I literally knew no one; unlike everyone else, I had gone to private middle school rather than a public one. Not only was I the 'little fish in the large pond', everyone was a complete and total stranger to me. Being painfully shy did not help my situation, either. I was simply too timid to speak to anyone. Those that I did speak to often thought I was weird and wanted little to do with me. I had never felt more alone in my life.

Every day, after school let out, my mother and I would visit my great-grandmother. After a quick visit, I would walk to the Kmart that was located behind her apartment building. One especially lonely day, I wandered through the aisles of that Kmart, trying to take my mind off my lousy life. I had already tried losing myself in their book section, but that didn’t help. So I turned towards the toy aisles, hoping that I could simply forget.

It was then that I spotted him. He looked a little different, but I knew him just the same.

It was Bumblebee. The Kmart-exclusive Legends Bumblebee, to be exact. I picked him up from the hook and whispered, “I remember you.” With the only money I had in my wallet--five dollars--I took him home, smiling for the first time in weeks. When I returned to my great-grandmother’s apartment, I gleefully showed him off to my mother. “It’s Bumblebee!” I said, laughing. “Remember him from Transformers?”

I have often said that Bumblebee may either be my jinx or my guardian angel. This was the beginning of that trend--having a horrible day and finding a new Bumblebee toy or catching wind of a related bit of news--anything along those lines. But I had no idea how important that action figure would become later in my life.

At the age of seventeen I met the boy who would be my significant other for the next five years of my life. My then-boyfriend had been an avid Transformers collector and, until he decided to pick up the controller to a Nintendo Entertainment System on a regular basis, owned over 200 figures. When I first visited his home, I was shocked; it felt less like a trip down Memory Lane and more like a family reunion. I was completely enchanted. Transformers brought us closer together and we often spent time reminiscing about the franchise.

When I started college, one of the assignments I was given was to bring an item that I felt was important. I brought Legends Bumblebee. At first the other students seemed slightly shocked until I explained how he reminded me of my childhood and of my past, which was very important to me. This actually started a pretty spirited discussion in class. I actually felt proud of myself for once.

When I got home, my good mood vanished. My mother and father were not on speaking terms. Dad was stressed out due to his job; he had come home that night and had suddenly rearranged the furniture in the living room. Worse, he barely spoke to Mom. It was like walking on eggshells. Neither one was sure whether or not things would work out. Mom was already talking about a temporary separation.

I managed to slip into my bedroom and collapse on my bed, clutching my favorite little Legend. He was a slight weight on my chest--so very slight. But he was like an anchor that kept me from feeling completely adrift. I have no idea how long I laid there, cradling Bumblebee. It may have been hours, it may have been seconds: I honestly cannot say. I only know that his presence was the only thing that kept me calm that night.

Thankfully, my parents worked things out. But during that time I spent a lot of time in my bedroom, writing terrible fanfic and cradling my Bumblebee. The fanfics are long since gone but my Legends Bumblebee remains with me to this day.

It wasn’t terribly long after this incident that Hasbro released Transformers: Generation 2. Frank and I spotted them while out and about one Saturday. When he pointed them out to me, my heart soared; one of the figures on the pegs was Bumblebee. I had a second chance to collect the figures I had missed during my childhood. And collect I did. Every spare bit of money I could scrape together went towards my brand new Transformers collection. My very first figure? Bumblebee, of course. Frank began collecting as well. Whichever figures he couldn't buy, I would buy for him and vice-versa. Those were happy days for us; collecting seemed to bring us even closer together. Unfortunately, that feeling wouldn’t last.

The Beast Within

Generation 2, the successor to the original series, wasn’t much of a success, and it eventually died away. In its stead came what many at the time first considered to be the pretender to the throne--Beast Wars Transformers. Frank was underwhelmed, to put it gently.

“They’re not real Transformers,” he scoffed. I, being so very naïve in spite of my age, believed him. So my collecting stopped. It’s a decision that I still regret to this day; I missed out on quite a few figures.

Even though I was no longer actively collecting, I was still quite interested in the franchise as a whole. But I honestly believed that I was one of the few people who still remembered them. That is, until the advent of the internet. One day, on a whim, I typed “transformers” into a search engine on a library computer at my local college. Most of the results were related to electrical equipment, but a decent number of them were dedicated to those robots in disguise that I loved so much.

I wasn’t alone. There were other fans out there. Eventually, I found an email group called the Cybertronian Conference, or CybCon for short. I signed up and after a little lurking, began to actively participate in discussions about the toys, the cartoon--everything. To most it would have been idle nerd talk, but to me it was the most fun I had in a long while.

Then the bottom dropped out of my world: On 30 October 1997, Frank admitted that he had cheated on me with my best friend’s stepsister. I was devastated. Everything I knew (or thought I knew) had been turned upside down. Although I tried to forgive Frank and work things out between us, it couldn't be done. We couldn't even remain as friends. In one fell swoop, I not only lost my significant other, but I lost almost all of my friends as well. Most of them quickly sided with Frank, believing that I was the one at fault for the whole sad affair. I was alone yet again. I was adrift, with no idea what to do next.

Cupid in Disguise

During this time, which I refer to as the Year of Hell, I kept my mind occupied by getting more and more involved in the online Transformers fandom. Also, now that I was free of Frank’s influence, I began to pick up some of the Beast Wars action figures that still lined store shelves and hung from their pegs. The first one I ever purchased was a Fuzor--it was Silverbolt. My reason for purchasing him was pure aesthetics; his being a mixture of wolf and eagle made him the most visually pleasing to my eyes. I was bitten by the collecting bug yet again. I simply couldn't get enough of Beast Wars.

When the WB network debuted in our city, I was able to catch up on the episodes of Beast Wars I had missed, and came to realize just how much of an idiot I had been; Beast Wars might have been a different chapter in the mythos, but it was an incredibly engaging one. I mentally kicked my own butt for denying myself such an amazing storyline. This would be the first of many things that I would discover than Frank had been terribly wrong about. It would also be the first step in relearning to trust my instincts, a step I owe to Beast Wars.

But even though I had fallen hard for the Beasties, I was also trying to recapture a bit of my youth. I was always on the lookout for a "new" Bumblebee to add to my paltry collection. Thanks to CybCon, I was able to get my hands on a G2 Go-Bots Bumblebee and managed to acquire a pair of G1 Action Masters Bumblebee toys. One remained sealed on his card, while the other was freed from his paper-and-plastic prison to adorn my desk. What I didn't know is that Bumblebee wouldn't be terribly safe on that desktop.

It was an accident, really--I was opening one of the drawers and it got stuck. Irritated, I slammed it shut, which caused my poor little Action Master to tumble off the top of the desk. When I noticed he was gone, I panicked. Frantic, I tore apart the area around the desk looking for him. Five minutes later, I found him. He was lying behind the desk, none the worse for wear. I apologized to him (!) and placed him back in his spot, all the while threatening to burn the desk for allowing something so horrible to happen.

Later that night, I made mention of the incident while posting to CybCon. Imagine my surprise when someone contacted me privately about it. "It's that top-heavy thing, isn't it?" the email began. The member, whom I knew as Prime, apparently had his own difficulties in keeping his AM Bumblebee upright while it was wearing its heli-pack. It was an odd start to a conversation, but what a conversation it was.

Frank and I were officially done in August of 1998. It was a difficult time for me, so I took a few months off trying to collect myself and figure out how I was going to get on with my life. But after wallowing in more self-pity than truly necessary, I decided to stop existing and start living. In November of that year, I asked for a computer for Christmas. When I got it in early December, the first thing I did was re-subscribe to CybCon.

I got a warm welcome back, which surprised me. I actually had friends out there. After a few weeks, I also reconnected with Prime. We began chatting again, only this time it was a little bit different. I started to really look forward to his messages in my inbox. I begin to giggle happily every time he replied to me. I was acting like a giddy little schoolgirl with a crush on someone. It felt wonderful.

As the summer of 1999 approached, BotCon loomed on the horizon. A few CybConners mentioned that they were going, among them Prime. Since I had been saving some of my money for the past two years and had about three thousand dollars handy, I decided that I could afford a trip as well. I preregistered and with the help of my mother and her credit card, I was able to go. I told a few of the CybConners that I would be there, but I emailed Prime personally, gave him a description of myself and told him that I would be looking for him. I gave no one else that information. It only went to Prime.

I arrived in St. Paul, Minnesota on Saturday. After heading to the convention center to pick up my prereg items, I rushed into the dealer room. It took several minutes, but I was able to spot Prime standing in the ridiculously long checkout line at Rugby's Starbase. It took me a few moments to get my nerves under control, but I managed to walk over to him and introduce myself.

For the few hours we spent together, we were inseparable. We talked, laughed, and acted goofy. For the first time in nearly a year, I was having a great time. When Saturday came to an end, we had to go our separate ways. I went back to my hotel and he to his. Although there was an "official" CybCon gathering at the convention hotel, I couldn't make it due to extreme exhaustion. It was my fault; I had only gotten a grand total of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days. I'm surprised that I wasn't hallucinating by that point.

I was only able to stay a few hours on Sunday, but I spent as many of those hours as I could with Prime. We wandered the dealer room yet again, just enjoying each other's company. As we wandered about and made a few purchases, I spotted a MOSC Goldbug (Bumblebee's 'evolved' form) on a dealer's table. I looked him over for a few moments but put him back down; I didn't have the money for him, as I had purposefully limited the funds I brought along for the trip. "Don't you have him?" Prime asked. I shook my head. "Nah, I never had the money to grab him when I was younger," I replied, a bit sad. What happened next is something I will never forget.

Prime picked up Goldbug and bought him. I patted him on the arm and said, "You give him a good home, now." Prime smiled and said, "Oh, I will." He then handed the Throttlebot to me.

Prime had just bought me a present. I was shocked. No one had ever displayed this sort of kindness to me.

I nearly knocked him down when I tackle-hugged him. I don't think I've ever thanked someone so profusely in my life. I didn't want that moment or that day to end.

It was hard to leave St. Paul and harder still to leave Prime. It was then that I knew I had fallen in love with him, the thoughts of which made me both happy and terrified. Happy, for we felt so perfect together and terrified at any possibility of getting my heart broken again.

When I returned home, I wrote him an email. It was the most difficult thing I had ever written. I gave him my telephone number and asked him to call, which he did. Eventually, I was bareing my heart to him, hoping he wouldn't reject me. Not only did he reciprocate, he admitted to the same feelings. I had found love, all thanks to a little yellow Autobot.

Their War, Our Shelves

In December of 1999, I took the plunge: I moved from North Carolina to Wisconsin to live my life with Prime. Since that time, my Bumblebee collection has exploded and our combined collection (including so many toys I had missed out on acquiring on my own) has grown by leaps and bounds. I've been an attendee at every BotCon since 1999 and made quite a few friends along the way. Prime and I have happily collected everything we could in that timespan, artifacts included. We've had long, drawn-out discussions on whether the Matrix may be sentient and if Tarantulas is actually Unicron's spawn. I'm working on building a shrine to my favorite Autobot, featuring not only toys but artifacts as well. I'm an admitted (robot collecting nerd/roboplastico addict/flaming robosexual/insert goofy robot-related term here) and I love it.

Although the Transformers franchise has changed time and again over the past twenty-five years, one thing remains the same--my undying love for Bumblebee and his Autobot friends. Because of my devotion to his character and the Universe of which he's a part, my life has become richer; I've made friends and family, all thanks to him. It's been an amazing quarter century for my favorite toy franchise and I can hardly wait to see what the next twenty-five years will bring. No matter what may come, I will always be a fan.