Memory Rosary

"When you're up high, all the stuff that looks confusing and messed up... suddenly becomes crystal clear."--Senna
Bleach: Memories of Nobody

It has been said that if you write, your characters will "speak" to you.

Whoever said that I'd like to punch in the face. Trust me, your characters don't just speak to you, they show nearly every detail of their lives. Some things are beautiful, other things are terrifying. It's like having four different people tell you about their childhoods, their hopes and dreams, their worst fears and all of their personal preferences at the exact same time. But they don't simply tell you about it. They show you everything. You can see inside their homes, what clothes they are wearing and how they had styled their hair when something, good or bad, happened to them.

It's like having multiple personalities shouting for your attention all at once. And trust me, they don't like taking no for an answer.

So I keep a pair of notebooks in my knapsack at all times. Anything that they tell me, I write down when I have a chance. It could be anything from what someone's favorite food could be or as to why they fear the dark. But if it's relevant to a character, I scrawl a few sentences about it.

Ever since I started writing, I began to grasp some of the things Senna went through. It's like being a memory rosary: I'm seeing memories that don't belong to me. They're so tangible, so realistic but I know that they, and the "people" who experienced them, don't really exist. But everything I see in my mind looks very real. I can see the sunlight bouncing off the flat roof of a building. I can hear the wind rustling through the trees. I can hear people chattering and laughing as they walk to their destinations. It's wonderful, it's eerie and I really don't want it to end.

For a few moments, I can walk away from this world and slip into another. It's a nice feeling. It isn't a perfect world, but it is a nice escape. It's certainly more pleasant than standing behind a cash register and prattling on about Brad and Angelina or Brett Favre while I total up someone's order of seven different pizzas, a box of cereal and a tube of KY Warming jelly.

I could get used to this. I just hope I can get lucky enough to get paid to do wander though such memories and places for a living.