Out With the Old

Okay 2010, get out of here already! We're tired of you!

--Weasel, "Bring on 2011!"

Friday Photoblog: "Make-Up, Please!" Edition

An unpainted Robot Heroes Bumblebee prototype, spotted in the Hasbro case at BotCon 2007.
(Hey, Hasbro? I hope you gave him a good home. If you don't want him, I'll take him. Hint, hint...)

And So It Goes...

Currently listening to: Who's Theme*

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Usually by this time, I'm in full-on Nostalgia mode, not wanting the year to end as it always seems to go too fast.

That's not the case this time.

tsuretette
anata no basho e
kaze ni natte
iki wo hisomete
tsuretette
anata wa doko e
toki wo koe
kokoro hodoite

I want this year to end and I want it to end now. The last few months haven't been great, so I'd rather get through this slag and start looking forward to the future than get mired in the past.

yureru hi damari
shiroku tooku
ate mo shiranai
kioku hodoku
kaoru himawari imada ni chiranai
kinaga ni

Now, not everything about this year blew. I saw Trevor Hoffman's 600th save. I went to BotCon and hung out with my friends. I've all but completed a manuscript. And I spent another year with Prime. But the last two months haven't been so wonderful and I'd love nothing more than to leave that behind. And 2011 has a lot to look forward to, trust me.

oshiete yo subete wo shitteshimau fuan
nanoni naze shiritakunaru yuragu omoi wo

haru natsu aki fuyu kanadete
asu wo yuku tabi tsumikasanete
kidzukeba anata to
yume no hate made

In February, we'll have the start of Spring Training. March 6th brings us Pokemon Black and White and on the 31st is Opening Day. In April is DairyCon. June brings BotCon and July we'll see the release of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Like I said, there's a lot to look forward to next year.

tsuretette
anata no basho e
kaze ni natte
iki wo hisomete
tsurete tte
anata wa doko e
toki wo koe
kokoro hodoite

Usually during this time of year, I 'm pretty much stuck in the past. I don't like looking forward and I'm not all that fond of change. But after November, a part of me changed.

mimi wo sumasete
tasogareru made
kakureta mama de
mukae matte
kimagurena kaze kikkake
mekurete omoide

ano koro nanigenaku kikoeteita kotoba
itsukara ka kokoro no naka
ookiku shimeru

The idea of looking back doesn't appeal to me as much. I think I'd rather look ahead at what's coming rather than sigh and weep for what's gone. I can't go back and change things. The past is over and done. It's best for me to simply keep walking, keep going to whatever destiny I may meet.

ano koro nanigenaku kikoeteita kotoba
itsukara ka kokoro no naka
ookiku shimeru

In other words, "No regrets." I can't change anything. Just accept it all and move on. If not, I will miss out on everything.

haru natsu aki fuyu kanadete
asu wo yuku tabi tsumikasanete
kidzukeba anata to
yume no hate made

Now, that doesn't mean I don't get nostalgic; I still do. Hell, I've been giggling my ass off thinking about Cincy lately! But I don't have this overwhelming urge to say, "If I had a frakking time machine, I'd go back and change (insert whatever incident here)."

Even if the damned machine existed, I wouldn't use it. There's no point. Just enjoy whatever life may bring, make new memories and be happy with what I've got. That's my motto now.

tsuretette
anata no basho e
kaze ni natte
iki wo hisomete
tsurete tte
anata wa doko e
toki wo koe
kokoro hodoite

Have a happy 2011, wherever you may be.




* Who's Theme was the ending song for the twelth episode of Samurai Champloo and one of my favorite songs. It has a dreamy quality about it and simply sounds like an ending. For those reasons, it seemed to fit for an end of the year type post. Hope you enjoy it.

Friday Photoblog: "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" Edition

A shot of beautiful Miller Park. From 2008.
(We might be in the sinus-bleeds--not quite the Uecker seats, but pretty high up--but I don't care. It's Miller Park. Therefore, it's awesome.)

*snerk*

So Prime's out doing the snowblowing thing... and he's wearing a mask. As in "cover the whole face" type mask.

He looks like a ninja. And every time I looked at him before he walked outside, I giggled. I think it drove him a little nuts. But hey, at least he's a warm ninja!

--Weasel, "Ninja, make snow vanish!"

Sometimes You Just Need to Scream

Saturday night was another "Nerd's Night Out", so to speak. Our friend Shawn dropped by so we ran around town and screwed around, which was a needed distraction in my case. I wish it had lasted a bit longer, honestly.

When Prime and I got home, we sat in the car and talked a bit. Then it all came out.

Yeah, I had a pretty good cry while sitting in the car. You have no slagging idea how much that helped. It felt as though six tons had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt so much better. No joke.

The next day I actually walked into my store with a small smile on my face. I actually started joking with people instead of giving the usual "polite" and standard greetings. I felt so much better than I have in weeks.

I'm not at 100% yet. I'd say I'm at around 75 to 83%, personally. But I'm a lot better. I think I'm actually "climbing out of the hole".

The only way out is up. I just have to keep going.

Once: Parte Dos

(Yes, the title is in Spanish. I only hope I didn't screw it up.)

So on Thursday, Prime and I headed out to our local Mexican restaurant to have a small, low key anniversary celebration. First off, I did imbibe. I'm thinking next time I might order a damn pitcher of margaritas and split it with one of my friends. (Hey, DA! If you ever head up this way, feel free. It'll be a party!) Second off, my guy is quite possibly the most romantic guy on the planet. Seriously.

The card he picked was perfect. Very sweet and perfect. And the gift? It was perfect. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, you know.

I'm talking baseball diamonds, of course. I'm going to Brewers On Deck! Best. Gift. EVAH!

Third of all: never drink a margarita and have anything spicy. Alcohol + pepper high = instant drunk. But hey, it was a party!

Eleven years and now heading into our twelfth. I have no words except: I love you, Prime. Always.

--Weasel, "Stop gagging. I'll turn the sarcasm back on later."

October Special in the Making?

It's been all over the news now: the Brewers now have Zack Greinke. I have to admit, I'm not all that thrilled with what we lost in the deal; we gave up Escobar and Lorenzo Cain to get Greinke and I really enjoyed watching Cain play. He was passionate and that always makes it fun. But I can't lie here: I have high hopes for Greinke as he wants nothing more than to get to the postseason.

I've got four words for you: Let's get him there.

2008 was a taste of "what could have been"--the Brewers could have gotten to the Series for the first time in 26 years. You have no idea how badly I want that. I want the Crew in the Series. And I want them to win. Ever since Prime got me hooked on this sport, I've wanted nothing more than to see the Crew winning the Series. I keep saying at the end of every season, "Next year."

Let's make this happen. I want 2011 to end with fireworks and not a whimper.

--Weasel, "Let's go Brewers! To the Series!"

Friday Photoblog: "It's Evolution, Baby!" Edition

Various body studies of movie Bumblebee. From the Hasbro tour, BotCon 2007.
(It's rather interesting to see the earlier forms and compare them to what we got in the finished product, isn't it?)

Brat'ja

Wednesday, as I rang up yet another order and stared blankly at the piles of groceries and Christmas presents that were stacked in fron of me, the questions started to swirl about in my head yet again.

Why did she keep me? What makes me so damned special? Why didn't she keep him instead? Why the hell did I get to stay with my actual family and not my brother? Why?!

My throat began to close and my vision blurred. I had to silence my thoughts or I would have burst into tears while standing at my register. Worse still, a song began to run through my head, namely Brat'ja from Full Metal Alchemist. It's completely in Russian and the lyrics can be found here. You're warned: it's not a happy song. But then again, Full Metal Alchemist isn't exactly sweetness and light.

Normally, I can only stand the original version of a song but as of late, the English version has really resonated with me. The lyrics strike a cord and I catch myself singing them softly under my breath.

I'll be honest--when I heard the last verse of the English version, I nearly cried. It was like a slap to the face.

I'm living through survivor's guilt. And it's eating me alive. I keep asking why in the name of Primus I was the chosen one and I don't have any answers. I just keep hearing Edward Elric's voice telling me to get up and walk, that I've got two good legs and should use them.

And he's right. But it's so hard to keep walking sometimes.

So where do we go from here?
And how to forget and forgive?
What's gone is forever lost.
Now all we can do is live.

Eleven

You're already tired of seeing me type here, I know. You'll live--you've no choice. Nyah.

So Wingnut--I mean Weasel--no, I meant Wingnut, I hate Weasel, Wingnut at least sounds like something with which a Cybertronian would get tagged, and if I can't use her real Autobot alias, I'm gonna use something that doesn't sound overly generic and wasn't a target in one of Weird Al's songs--and I are celebrating our eleventh anniversary today. Yeah, eleven, not first. We were finally married back in September of last year, true. I don't give a lot of weight to that date, in all honesty. Somewhat asininely, I put only a silver trophy on the day we first met at BotCon '99. Gold star goes to the day she replied to my initial e-mail to her--and I still can't say exactly why I inquired as to the status of her ActionMaster Bumblebee, aside from perhaps general wonkiness. Nope, the unobtanium quantum singularity goes to the day I flew in a southeasterly direction and met her just off the disembarcation gangway. Thus began our life together.

Yeah, I said 'thus'. Weld it shut.

I'll be taking her to what has apparently become her favorite restaurant tonight, where she'll doubtlessly snarf a trio of enchiladas that have been drowned in molé (ugh, that stuff is a travesty, really--capsaicin burn and pepper high or GTFO). She might actually partake of a frozen margarita of her own rather than guzzle half o' mine. Hopefully Ensign Lightweight there won't fall asleep from such a pithy amount of José freakin' Cuervo before I hand her a REDACTED BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS WHILE I'M AT WORK WINGNUT HA HA, which upon seeing she'll likely break out into tears. Or a ridiculous grin. Or song--y'know, I'm never quite sure with her.

Which is all part of the fun for eleven years.

Happy Anniversary, Bunny Convoy.

+++PRIME OUT+++

Heard Around The House

Time: a few weeks ago
Place: upstairs near the bedroom.

Me: (irritated after Prime playfully smacks my arm) Knock it off, you lousy piece of ass!
Prime: Woman, last night you said I was a choice piece of ass. Make up your damn mind, bitch!
Me: (doubled over laughing)

COMMUNICATIONS INTERRUPT: Most Wonderful Time of the Year, My Skidplate

So the first major snowfall of the year for Wisconsin has come and gone, thankfully. That was some fairly bitter scrapmetal, there, that made me wish I had had a snowblower canopy. Or a ski mask. Or a winter cap. (Well, Weasel took care of the latter pair last night. Think I'm on my own for the former.)

Damned wind could not seem to choose a direction and stick with it. North, south, east or west, it seemed whichever direction I pushed that ol' John Deere winter warhorse was against the wind, and the blown snow invariably wound up in my face and down my jacket. (Thankfully, Weasel was not in much position to lay optics upon my beardage displaying more white than usual; she would've tried to get a snapshot and I would've had to hit her in the face with the shovel I didn't want to use yet or something equally absurdly hilarious.)

Add to that the city's inexplicably quarter-assed (they're not getting credit enough for a pronouncement of half-assed from me) job of plowing the streets and I had a dammit-I-am-already-tired-of-this-slag series of moments in clearing the driveway and sidewalks. (How the city plows managed to leave several centimeters on the roads and yet create a 60cm wall in our driveway, I can't fathom.)

The city did finally make another pass-through this morning, it seems--there was a smaller wall in the driveway waiting for us to leave for work. Far easier to get Scamper up-and-over that.

I shouldn't complain too much, I suppose. This is my home state, I chose to live here, it could be said I dragged Weasel here...I may be a moron.

Just waiting for the next damned snowfall--

+++PRIME OUT+++

Friday Photoblog: "BOOM! Headshot" Edition

Various headshots of Bumblebee from the early stages of the 2007 Transformers Movie. BotCon 2007.
(Is it just me, or does he really, really soulful eyes? Maybe it's just me...)

Friday Photoblog: "Down to Business" Edition

A Hasbro employee explains some of the different processes that go into toy manufacturing. From BotCon 2007.
(I believe this was dealing with paint apps.)