And the Nation Rapidly Becomes Stupider...

...and there seems to be no end in sight.

Case in point:
Retarded Southern female wants to ban Harry Potter books in a Georgia elementary school district.

Worse still, the in-bred hick bitch hasn't even read the fucking books.

What could be worse than that? The dumb bitch defends her ignorance! For example:

"I think it would be hypocritical for me to read all the books, honestly. I don't agree with what's in them. I don't have to read an entire pornographic magazine to know it's obscene," Mallory said.

Yeah, and I don't have to talk to you to know that you're a load your mother should have swallowed. Too bad she didn't.

Apparently the stupid bitch thinks that kids'll get into the occult by reading these books. Okay, first off kids are not getting into Satanism because of dear old Harry and second kids cannot cast any "spells" from the books! We've been through this bullshit before. But it never seems to end: there are people who believe this vapid bitch.

“I’m a true example of how Harry Potter books can open your life to witchcraft,” said Jordan Susch.

No, you are not. You are a kid who is screwed-up in the head. You need mental help. Therapy could probably help you. But you won't get any. You're just going to sit on your ass and blame a piece of fiction for all your life's problems instead of getting up off said ass and taking responsibility for yourself.

“We wanted to know if spells, potions and curses worked. By the seventh grade, I was so depressed, I set a date to kill myself,” Susch said.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Let's have some fun with that, shall we? Sub in 'math text book" instead of "Harry Potter" and you'd get this:
"We wanted to know if algorithms, theorems and equations worked. By the seventh grade, I was so depressed, I set a date to kill myself," Susch said.

Sounds pretty ridiculous, doesn't it?

But wait, there's more!

Let's try using a science text. We'd get something like this:
"We wanted to know if neutrinos, quarks and isotopes worked. By the seventh grade, I was so depressed, I set a date to kill myself," Susch said.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

But the situation isn't totally hopeless, there are a few intelligent people out there, thank Primus.

We also give kids a little credit in knowing the difference between fact and fiction. We find it interesting that while she's wild about Harry, she suggests replacing the Potter books with the "Left Behind" series. Her appeal form doesn't indicate whether she's read those publications. But for those not familiar with the Tim LaHaye books, imagine this, taken from the "Left Behind" Web site: "Passengers aboard a Boeing 747 en route to Europe disappear. Instantly. Nothing remains except their rumpled piles of clothes. Vehicles, suddenly unmanned, careen out of control. People are terror-stricken as loved ones vanish before their eyes. For those left behind, the apocalypse has just begun." Frightening stuff. Give us a good-ole Bat Boggey Curse any day.

--Weasel, "Can I get an 'Amen, brother'?!"

Breaking the Girl

(My apologies to the Red Hot Chili Peppers.)

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted. It's not for lack of interest, I just haven't had the time or the energy. I'm still dealing with the move (good Gods, we have a bunch of crap!) and my work schedule has made it extremely difficult for me to try and update.

Put it this way: I spend about 10 hours at work a day (at least an hour of which before I'm even scheduled to start), only to go home and start all over again. I literally have no time to relax or unwind. Worse still, my days off are split; I don't have two days off in a row. Needless to say, I am so bone tired that I do not have the fortitude to even roll out of bed in the morning. And I have no idea how much longer this will be going on. My blog is suffering, I'm suffering; to put it nicely, life fucking sucks for me right now.

But, enough whining from me. Here's my chuckle for the week (file it under "P" for pwned!): Ann Coulter is officially an "it" by her own non-admission. Normally, I wouldn't even care about something like this.... but this is Ann Coulter. The "woman" with an Adam's Apple. I don't know about you, but this is just too damned funny. Once you get over the initial shock and stop vomiting, it's hilarious.

--Weasel, "That 'woman' ain't right..."

Random Thoughts Ver 1

I'll make this brief, mostly because I have to: yes, I am still alive and kicking. I have been extremely busy thanks to the move. Prime and I are still going through boxes, setting things up, what have you. It's been tedious and very time-consuming. Factor in the difficulties at work, like the consistently shitty scheduling I've been getting (which has put a huge cramp in my efforts get transferred out of that hellhole) and I barely have time to do much of anything. But enough bitching. For your reading pleasure, I present a few

Random Thoughts

*Cats hate moving. Cats also hate rides in the car. My cat, Sammy, made both of these points very clear on his trip to the new house. It took a few hours to regain my hearing after we got him here.

*Head honcho S is a bigger bitch than I had imagined. She proceeded to yell at one of my fellow cashiers for not bagging for a customer. This cashier was on self-check; we are not allowed to touch a customer's order unless they ask us. Way to go, S, you shrewish bitch.

*The hellhole has a sudden lack of cashiers nowadays. The reason? The newbies got pissed and quit.

*File this under "Open Mouth, Insert Hoof": we had a lost kid at the front lanes about a week ago. He looked to be about three or four years old and was about five seconds away from screaming his head off, until he spotted the candy rack. He grabbed a lollipop and started eating it. Normally, this would irritate me, but it helped to keep the kid from panicking until one of his older brothers found him. The Sow saw what was going on. Her only response? "He didn't pay for that piece of candy." (In the kid's defense, his parents paid for it later.) One of the cashiers who overheard the Sow's snarky little comment said she wanted to "slap the hell" out of old Piggy.

*The Piglets have dwindled in numbers. Because of the Sow's wonderful "personality", a lot of her defenders want nothing to do with her. I can hardly blame them.

*Prime and I have now have broadband. What in Primus' name did we do without it?

*According to rumors, Weird Al is working on a new album. I can hardly wait. :)

*Dairycon, our little Wisconsin Transformers get together, is next Saturday. Hope it'll tide me over until BotCon.

*On April 22nd, Cartoon Network will remove Transformers:Cybertron from its Toonami line-up. Just another reason to shit-can CN.

*Pokemon Journey Across America will hit near my area twice: May 20th in St. Paul, Minnesota and Chicago, Illinois the 27th. I hope to make it there.

*According to Headline News, the Dragon Skin body armor that soldiers have been buying to protect themselves is "inferior". The stuff the government is handing out is the "better quality" armor. So much for the liberal media.

Well, that's all the time I have today. If I'm lucky, I'll post again in another week or so.

--Weasel, "Moving is just so awesome."

An Update

Yes, I haven't posted in a while. I just have not had the time. Blame the move.

It has been quite interesting over the past couple of weeks. It seems S is a bigger bitch than I had originally thought.

One of my friends, "A", told me her son "Z" had been fired from our store. The reason? Too many absences. When Z asked to see said absences, S just talked around the request. He asked three times. She ignored the request three times. He finally got pissed enough to yell, "Kiss my ass!" before leaving. (I would have loved to have seen that.)

S is also trying to get rid of all the minors we currently have working at our store. She doesn't want them around; they are too much of a pain in the ass in her opinion. And worse, if a minor fills out an application to work at our store, she'll ignore it unless they call and ask about it. When head cashier "K" mentioned she had interviewed a minor a few days ago, S absolutely exploded yelling, "NO MORE MINORS!!"

I have to wonder, isn't that a form of discrimination? Wonder if the labor board, or the media, for that matter, would be interested.

--Weasel, "It make for a good story."

Insert Random Swearing Here

Wallace and motherfucking Grommit get the Oscar for best animated picture. As usual, the "Academy" gives the award to a pile of shit and not the deserving film. Typical.

--Weasel, "Miyazaki was robbed, dammit."

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

It's ours!

It has been a pretty hectic couple of weeks, which is why I haven't posted in, uh, forever. But I have good news. And it has nothing to do with car insurance.

Prime and I got the house.

February 28th was quite a day. My writing hand got one helluva workout; we had to sign 2,894,367 different forms, and initial and date 1200 more. But once we were done with that, we officially became homeowners.

That was the good news. Now on to the work front, aka the really bad news.

Although the Sow has left me alone for the past couple of weeks (Thank Primus!!), head honcho cashier S has gotten more and more obnoxious. Case in point: I went to one of the February cashier meetings just before we closed on the house. (Normally, I say fuck the meetings, but since S threatened me with termination, I decided to play it safe this one time.) It was an interesting meeting, to say the very least.

Of course, it was the usual bitchfest and I've heard it all before: there have been too many left-behinds and S is tired of it. She said that she had tried "everything" to help us solve the problem, so she's going to start coaching us again. Worse still, we are now required to snitch on each other; if someone has a bag that's been left on the front end and they try to "hide" it, we're supposed to tell a head cashier. (Fuck that noise....) No more "gossiping" on the front end and for the love of the Gods watch what the hell you say in the breakroom. (Seems a few souls got "offended" by some things that were said by other associates. Awww, poor widdle thing. I'll go call the Waaah-bulance.) Don't do this or you'll get your ass in trouble, don't steal the company's time, (they're more than happy to steal mine, the sorry fucks) be careful of internet coupon fraud, etc. Then came the "Got any questions?" portion of the meeting. Here's where things really got good.

One of the newly hired cashiers wanted to know what we should say to people if they asked how our company treated us as employees. S said that the best thing to say was that we "chose" to work at our company and we were "proud to be employed" by our company. Then S went on a rant as to how we're biggest and "best" company out there and that's why we're a target for criticism. She then said that we would be making more headlines because the "pharmaceutical companies were going to force us to carry the morning-after pill".

Uh-huh. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

First off, it's the government that's telling our "wonderful" company to carry emergency contraception, if I recall correctly. But that's not the biggest thing that irked me. Our wonderful company "chose" to have a pharmacy. They made that "choice" themselves. If they didn't want to deal with the ramifications of that choice, then they should remove the damned pharmacy. "Choice" is a two-way street. They should fucking remember that. Morons.

After wasting 45 minutes of my life, I was allowed to return to work and finish my shift. Two days later, I run into S in the breakroom. She gets snippy with me, wondering if I "remembered" any of the four cashier meetings that were held in February.

(insert eye-roll here)

(Jeez, ya dumb bitch, you looked right at me! You watched me sign the damn notebook!) I simply smiled and said that I went to the second to last meeting. S then smiled and congratulated me.

I'm going to get my transfer in motion this week. And I'll be looking for a new job ASAP.

--Weasel, "I only stayed in that hellhole to get the house..... now that entire place can go fornicate itself with an iron stick."

The Snow (and Shit) Storm of the Century

We actually got a damn snowstorm here in Wisconsin. It was so bad today that people were being excused from work. I bit and lit out early. I really don't want to even be in that damned building anymore. With good reason.

Don't know if you guys remember, but I got a "D" or Decision-Making day back in May. Now, this isn't a huge deal when you get right down to it; a lot of associates have gotten D days before. Hells, one of the cart pushers has had three of them. He admitted as much. And laughed about it. Now a D day is supposed to drop off your record within the span of six months. After that six month period, you are supposed to go back to the original disciplinary chain: a verbal warning, a written warning, a D day and ultimately, termination.

Not so in my case, apparently.

Early last week the head of head cashiers, "S", threatened me. With termination. For a bullshit reason. (She said I was reading at the front lanes. Bullshit. Rearranging magazines and tabloids is not I repeat, not reading them.)

Now remember, she really cannot do this. It's been over six months. The D day has dropped off my record; everything has completely reset. If I were to get in trouble legitimately, I'd get a verbal warning, not termination.

It's pretty damned apparent that S just wants to get the hell rid of me. She's looking for some sort of b.s. reason to try and shove me out the door.

I say, "Good luck."

After 12 days, I am either going to transfer the fuck out of that hellhole (and into a newer, but closer, hellhole) or pound the pavement and get a new job. And I can't wait to see the look on S's face when I finally tell her that I quit or I'm transferring. I'm pretty sure she'll launch into one of those "We really don't want to lose you" speeches; I'll have to fight the urge to laugh in her face.

Pray that I succeed in repressing said urge.

--Weasel, "Mmmmm, new house smell! Better than new car smell!"

For Fuck's Sake...!

He's at it again.

Fred Phelps. Protesting the death of Coretta Scott King.

So, I ask you: is it wrong to wish for a tornado to tear through Phelps' backyard, wiping out him and his entire flock?

--Weasel, "Cause if that's wrong, then I don't wanna be right."

Time Off

It's a beautiful thing.

I'm on day two of a three day stretch; this feels absolutely wonderful. Just me, Prime, the cat and an assload of packing to do. Life just couldn't be better. :)

On top of all this great news, we finally got some fucking snow! Woohoo! (Yes, I love snow. So sue me.) It gets even better: the Sow has left me alone for the past few days. Yes, you read that right- she's been leaving me alone. The Sow's been so "nice" to me I almost hate the idea of transferring.... NOT! :D

In other news, we're going to have to go box hunting soon. We'll need quite a few more to pack up all of our stuff for the Big Move. Hee, a house. An honest to Primus house of our own! I'm so happy I could pee myself!

--the grinning and giddy Weasel

Dumbass Warnings Pt 1

As a cashier, I see a lot of idiotic (or "Anyone with functioning common sense would know not to do this") warnings on packages. Today's case in point- a warning on a box of cereal with a free bonus iron-on patch:

"Do not iron shirt while wearing."

--Weasel, "No, I am not making this up."

Weasel's Housewarming Gift List

Just for the hell of it, here's a list of things I'd like to get for the new house:

• A stepstool (cause I'm short!)
• Bookshelves, bookshelves, bookshelves
• Lamps
• Storage containers
• A new shower caddy (the old one is rusting out)
• A message center with mail holder and a key caddy
• A calendar message board
• A spoon rest (so the stove top can stay clean)
• A kitchen tool caddy
• A laundry caddy
• A decent hamper
• A laundry basket (the old one is falling apart)
• and finally three large garbage cans (two for recycling, one for trash).

This is in no way complete. I'll probably think up a few more lists in the meantime.

--one excited Weasel

Busy, Busy

Had the day off; Prime did as well. Been doing some cleaning today, while Prime's been packing away some of our collection. He's wondering if we'll be ready in time. I'm pretty damn sure we'll be fine.

We've already let the landlord know that we're leaving at the end of the month; Prime sent a written notice and I called him not 15 minutes ago. I hope he's not too pissed about us leaving. He didn't sound upset over the phone, but we'll be leaving another vacant apartment that he'll have to find a way to fill. I almost feel as if I'm letting the poor guy down, in some strange way.

I'm a little surprised to find that I'm a bit sad at the prospect of leaving this place. We've been here for about five years. No, that isn't terribly long (I spent 18 years total on that little piece of property in NC), but it's long enough to make the place feel kinda like home. Yet I'm excited as well. We'll be moving into a place that will be truly ours. We'll have an entire room for our collection. I'll have a room for my own personal use. (Finally, a room for magick and worship! Hee!) We'll have a nice living room.... and a nice kitchen/dining area! We'll be near the waterfront! (Within walking or biking distance, but not so close as to end up in our living room.) We'll be close to a library! And a pool! It's so exciting that I can hardly wait!

In other news, Brad Pitt really is a bit of a shallow SOB, Exxon is getting richer (who knew?), and finally Alito won the cloture vote.

--Weasel, "So much packing to do, so little time.... I guess...."

Twists and Turns

It's starting to really hit me: I'm buying a freaking house! Prime and I saw someone about a home loan on Friday; I swear to Gods I have never signed and dated so many forms in my life. No one has tried to contact us since then, which is a good thing. It means things are going smoothly. If someone did try to contact us, it would be because there's some sort of problem. So as of this moment, so far, so good. On the work front however, things are getting pretty interesting.

It seems I'm not the only one who has a problem with the Sow. One of the other cashiers, "T", is pregnant (not sure when she's due). T mentioned to one of the other cashiers that she hoped she wouldn't gain a lot of weight during her pregnancy. T said if she got as big as the Sow, she would "kill herself". What T didn't know is she was talking to one of the Sow's many friends, or Piglets as I call them. The Piglet made a full report to the Sow and it seems T got into a shitload of trouble over her comments, as in she got some sort of management coaching. But that's not the half of it.

Apparently, a group of cashiers was sitting at one of the tables in the breakroom. Someone piped up that they thought the Sow was a bitch. A couple of people agreed. The entire group (we're talking anywhere from five to seven people) was hauled into Ad office and given a stern warning. It appears a Piglet over-heard the conversation and tattled to our favorite female porcine. Yep, she's got little piggy ears all over the store.

This is why I no longer sit in the breakroom proper; I opt to eat my lunch in the old smoking lounge. Very few people sit there, so there's little to no chance of getting caught up in someone else's bullshit. Trust me, I know first hand just how bad the bullshit can be in the employee breakroom. However, I may have a way out.

One of our former associates who transferred to another store came by on Saturday. "S" is now working in fabrics and crafts. The store she transferred to happens to be in the same city as the new house. According to S, they are hurting for cashiers. She said I could do a lateral transfer and keep my current pay, but also get the hours that I want.

It's very tempting.

There is only one thing that is holding me back: we haven't closed on the house yet. The very second that ink is on the paper, though.....

--Weasel, trying to get out from under the Sow's little hooves.

Zero Hour

...is just a few hours away. 3:30pm. Surprisingly, I'm not all that nervous... yet.

In today's news: Chili finger redux! Seems a family says that their KFC was crawling with roaches. They want justice.... which will cost KFC anywhere from five thousand to one million dollars. I call 'bullshit' on this one.

Oh and Tom Cruise is a douche. I mean seriously, he is a fucking douche. Looks like someone forgot their "vitamins" today. Or maybe Tommy boy needs to get some exercise to help take care of his head problems. Douche.

--Weasel, praying for the best today

Update

Prime and I will be going for a home loan/mortgage this Friday at 3:30pm.

More news as this story develops.

--one nervous Weasel

The Only Constant

Change is the only constant, in life and in the universe. And in the last 24 hours, my life has changed...dramatically.

Prime and I just signed the paperwork to purchase a house, namely the one his mother has been trying to sell for the past few months.

We're going to close on the 28th of February.

I'm excited. I'm terrified.

I'm overjoyed. I'm overwhelmed.

I'm ecstatic. I'm petrified.

I can't wait to move in, to start decorating, to actually be a homeowner. It's the bills that could stand to wait. Ugh, and the moving....!

But, a house. A home. My home. Our home. Prime and me, buying a home, together.

It's so just overwhelming. And exciting.

--Weasel, still in shock

Long Time, No Update

Time for me to fix that.

Well, I finally "officially" beat Pokemon XD; Lugia has been purified. I'm (im)patiently waiting for the other Shadows to clear out their Heart Gauges in the Purify Chamber. The only things I really need to do are finish the Mountain Battle challenges, hit Orre Colosseum, trade with Duking, and complete the Lucky Egg quest. Afterwards, I'll do some trading to Ruby, LeafGreen and Emerald, then start a new quest or two or twelve. (I'm hoping to get at least one female Eevee as a starter, that way I can finally get a female Espeon.)

The hellhole known as my job has steadily gotten worse; my schedule is even worse now than it was before. If I'm extremely lucky, I'll get a couple of day shifts during the week and two days off in a row. But that doesn't happen very often. The general rule now is afternoon and evening shifts, with two nonconsecutive days off. It's tiring, to say the least.

We've had another firing on the front end; cashier "D" was terminated. There are two different theories circulating as to why: one says she did not card an underage tobacco customer during a sting operation, the other claims that her drawer was off by over a hundred dollars. As to which is true, I have no blasted idea. All I know is she's been termed. And I have no idea who might be next on the store manager's list.

--Weasel, showing the world how (non) eventful her life is

OMFG!

We got some sunlight today! Sure it was only twenty minutes worth, but holy shit! SUNLIGHT! Honest to fucking God sunlight! I'm so happy I could pee my pants!

--Weasel, who almost forgot what the sun actually looked like.

You Might Be a Former Jehovah's Witness If...

The inspiration for this post comes from a very similar list that I found online. Since it looked very cathartic, I decided to write on of my own.

You Might Be a Former Jehovah's Witness If...

* you've ever felt guilty giving to a charity.
* you had to throw out your wind-chimes. (Too Pagan!)
* you felt guilty voting in a high school election.
* you have to fight the urge to tell your church-going friends that Jesus was not crucified on a cross, but on an upright stake.
* you can easily remember your first birthday party, Easter egg hunt and Christmas.... because you were 24 years old when they took place.
* you refused to put on any makeup at all for fear you'd look like that awful picture of Jezebel in your copy of My Book of Bible Stories.
* you had to give up on your dream of becoming a police officer.
* you would rather have had terminal cancer than be gay.
* you would rather be dead than disfellowshipped.
* you had to stop speaking to your best friend for a year because they had been disfellowshipped.
* you felt guilty for taking Drama in high school.
* you were told by your mother that some of the Saturday morning cartoons you were watching could be considered Satanic. (Yeah, I'm really gonna sell my soul to Satan because I watched The Real Ghostbusters!)
* you knew 1914 was a turning point in history, but you didn't know why.
* you knew 1914 was a turning point in history and got irritated when your school history book never mentioned it.
* you remember the first Mother's Day or Father's Day card you made for your parents.... because you were a freshman in college when you made it.
* you were ever dragged to the back of the Kingdom Hall and spanked because you misbehaved during services.
* you were spanked with a plastic paint stirrer for misbehaving during services.
* you were six months old when you were dragged to the back of the Kingdom Hall to be spanked with the plastic paint stirrer for misbehaving during services.
* you were the only person in your second grade class who would not recite the Pledge of Allegiance... and you had to repeatedly explain why.
* your house was the only one on your block not decorated for Christmas.
* you were the only kid on your block who never got Christmas presents, or had to send them back when you did.
* you spent many a fine summer day stuck in a stuffy car as your parents drove through town "witnessing".
* you felt jealous of the Elders' kids who got to go to Disney World, but your parents refused because such a thing would be "too worldly".
* you never went to a school dance.... and it wasn't because you couldn't find a date.
* you got damn sick of calling non-relatives "brother" or "sister".
* you felt guilty when you got accepted to a local college.
* you still think getting a blood transfusion is disgusting.
* you are mortally afraid of surgery because you don't want to bleed out on the operating table, but you're equally afraid of receiving someone else's blood to prevent that from happening.
* you wondered how Satan was controlling anyone through heavy metal music.
* to this day you still carry the guilt of playing Dungeons and Dragons with your friends.
* you felt positively spoiled when you went to your friends church. (Such pretty stained glass! Such comfy pews!)
* while at your friend's church, you saw that everyone could receive the "Lord's Supper".
* you still feel guilty for that one time trip to your friend's church.
* you couldn't see any of your old friends because they weren't Witnesses.
* the word "goat" has nothing to do with an animal.
* you know the meanings of the terms "new light", "Other Sheep", "Jonadab", "Anointed Remnant", "the faithful and discreet slave", and "Un-theocratic".
* your parents believed that "Santa" was just another spelling for "Satan".
* you can easily recite most of the Pagan origins to Christmas and Easter.
* hearing the phrase "Watchtower Bible and Tract Society" makes you want to run away screaming.
* you learned how to sleep with your eyes open so you wouldn't get spanked for "not listening" to the service.
* seeing the words "Kingdom" and "Hall" in the same sentence makes you cringe.
* you were terrified of even touching a boy's hand because it may lead you into lust and premarital sex.
* you can't help but see the irony in those thoughts; especially after learning about the child sex abuse that went on in other "upstanding" Witnesses' families.
* you don't know whether to laugh or cry while reading this list.
* you're pretty sure Jehovah will smite you for reading this list.

That's all I can think of for now. Don't be surprised if I revisit this at a later date.

--Weasel, who still has a problem with organized religion.... Gee, wonder why?

Yesterday

Wavebreaker's birthday was yesterday.
He would have turned 26.